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Environmental damage is a problem in most countries What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

#damage #countries
Environmental damage has become a pressing issue in numerous countries worldwide. The main causes of
this
 problem relate to humans and
therefore
 be tackled by relevant authorities and corporations.
Furthermore
,
a
Change preposition
with a
show examples
growing number of
migrate
Replace the word
people migrating
show examples
 from rural areas to urban ones, problems,
such
 as overcrowding, begin to rise.
This
 essay will look at the factors underlying
this
 phenomenon and
then
 offer some potential solutions to it. The most significant reason for
this
 shift is a better quality of life in urban areas and a number of people in
villages
 are below the poverty line. People in
villages
 do not earn money equivalently for the work they do.
For instance
, despite working for seven to eight hours a day even in scorching heat, a farmer earns less money when compared to a building worker or a daily labor in the cities.
Besides
this
, lack of job opportunities, poor health care, and electricity issues
also
 contribute to
this
 tendency.
Furthermore
, the urban lifestyle attracts many people from
villages
. There are several solutions to
this
 problem. Rural life should be improved. Namely, if the factories located in the city are built in the
villages
, humans will be provided with work.
Moreover
, innovations in the fields of electricity and transport should
also
 be implemented in
villages
.
To conclude
, to deal with urbanization, the government should develop the rural areas to reinforce urban-rural equality since generally, the core of the migration to cities is the seek for a better quality of living conditions
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Task Response
Ensure that your essay fully addresses the topic by discussing both the causes and solutions to environmental damage. Your essay veered off topic by focusing on urbanization rather than environmental damage.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more thoroughly by providing specific, relevant examples and elaborating on how these solutions could effectively address environmental damage.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your writing by maintaining focus on the question. Stick to discussing environmental damage instead of shifting to urbanization, which confuses your essay's direction.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay into a clear introduction, body paragraphs (each focusing on a single idea), and conclusion. This structure helps improve the logical flow of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrialization
  • habitat destruction
  • urbanization
  • overpopulation
  • overexploitation
  • deforestation
  • biodiversity
  • waste management
  • fossil fuels
  • air pollution
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable agriculture
  • recycling systems
  • international cooperation
  • conservation
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