Environmental damage is a problem in most countries What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

#damage #countries

Environmental damage has become a pressing issue in numerous countries worldwide. The main causes of

this

problem relate to humans and

therefore

be tackled by relevant authorities and corporations.

Furthermore

Change preposition

with a

show examples

growing number of

migrate

Replace the word

people migrating

show examples

from rural areas to urban ones, problems,

such

as overcrowding, begin to rise.

This

essay will look at the factors underlying

this

phenomenon and

then

offer some potential solutions to it. The most significant reason for

this

shift is a better quality of life in urban areas and a number of people in

villages

are below the poverty line. People in

villages

do not earn money equivalently for the work they do.

For instance

, despite working for seven to eight hours a day even in scorching heat, a farmer earns less money when compared to a building worker or a daily labor in the cities.

Besides

this

, lack of job opportunities, poor health care, and electricity issues

also

contribute to

this

tendency.

Furthermore

, the urban lifestyle attracts many people from

villages

. There are several solutions to

this

problem. Rural life should be improved. Namely, if the factories located in the city are built in the

villages

, humans will be provided with work.

Moreover

, innovations in the fields of electricity and transport should

also

be implemented in

villages

To conclude

, to deal with urbanization, the government should develop the rural areas to reinforce urban-rural equality since generally, the core of the migration to cities is the seek for a better quality of living conditions

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Tue Mar 12 2024

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Task Response

Ensure that your essay fully addresses the topic by discussing both the causes and solutions to environmental damage. Your essay veered off topic by focusing on urbanization rather than environmental damage.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more thoroughly by providing specific, relevant examples and elaborating on how these solutions could effectively address environmental damage.

Coherence and Cohesion

Enhance the clarity of your writing by maintaining focus on the question. Stick to discussing environmental damage instead of shifting to urbanization, which confuses your essay's direction.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay into a clear introduction, body paragraphs (each focusing on a single idea), and conclusion. This structure helps improve the logical flow of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

248 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

industrialization
habitat destruction
urbanization
overpopulation
overexploitation
deforestation
biodiversity
waste management
fossil fuels
air pollution
climate change
renewable energy
sustainable agriculture
recycling systems
international cooperation
conservation

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Environmental damage is a problem in most countries What is the cause of this damage? What should be done about this problem?

Include an introduction and conclusion

More and more businesses, as well as individuals, are choosing to communicate either professionally or socially using technology rather than being face to face. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays some buildings such as offices and school have open space design instead of separate rooms . Why it is so ?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that physical education classes are an important part of a child's education. Others believe that it is more important to focus on academics during school time discus both these views, and give your opinion

Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are some good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.