IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

write about advantage and disadvantage of CCTV cameras

#advantage #cctv #cameras
Technology has provided benefits to humanity in security aspects, from patrolling criminality to broadcasting entertainment events. For good or bad, CCTV cameras have come to never return back. In
this
 essay, I will deep
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the advantages and disadvantages of these perpetual devices.
To begin
 with, CCTV cameras brush up the safety departments as a deterrent to potential burglars. Its particular pervasive presence provides evidence in
real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
show examples
during
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all day and night in case of robbery.
For instance
, nine of ten cases of people
catched
Correct your spelling
caught
show examples
 committing burglary have been prosecuted thanks to technological evidence.
Nonetheless
, CCTV recorders have issues
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 some factors, one of them is the quality resolution,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 depends primarily
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
capacity
Add an article
the capacity
show examples
 of the memory card and the quality of the board.
Secondly
,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 social point of view, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 legislation that
forbid
Change the verb form
forbids
show examples
 the free use of
being recorded
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
 on behalf
human
Change preposition
of human
show examples
 rights and privacy. As a sample, in 2014 a thief sued an important shopping mall branch for keeping in video without permission,
as a result
, he won and received a big quantity reward.
To sum up
, there are advantages and disadvantages, but people are even more involved in that technology.
While
 it is true that troubles
such
 as blind spots and bad footage are widely known, times are changing constantly and soon or later that problems, including the social ones, will be overcome to guarantee
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
surveillance of quality and safety for humanity.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To boost your score in Task Achievement, try to provide more balanced coverage on advantage and disadvantage discussions. Elaborate both points with equal depth and detail. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt with clarity. Using more specific examples relevant to CCTV's advantages and disadvantages could help strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, aim for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. While your essay has a logical structure, using a wider range of linking words and phrases could enhance the flow. Also, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus on a single main idea, supported by relevant examples or explanations. This will help in making your essay more cohesive and easier to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • surveillance
  • pervasive
  • deterrent
  • apprehension
  • prosecution
  • infringes
  • footage
  • patrolling
  • efficiency
  • malfunctions
  • blind spots
  • commercial context
  • surveillance culture
What to do next:
Look at other essays: