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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the consumption of 3 spreads from 1981 to 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The line graph illustrates information about the amount of three types of spreads
consumption
Use synonyms
,between 1981 and 2007.
Linking Words
overall
Capitalize word
Overall
show examples
,it is clear to see that
although
Linking Words
 low fat and reduced spreads trends rose dramatically ,the margarine and butter fell over the period. Looking more closely at the data,the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of butter was 142
grams
Use synonyms
,before a significant drop to 70
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1996,there was
then
Linking Words
 a slight decrease to 50
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Compared with another trend,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 margarine
consumption
Use synonyms
 was 90
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1981,after a slight fluctuation to 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1991,the trend remained unchanged
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 100
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1996,
from
Correct word choice
and from
show examples
then
Linking Words
 on,the
consumption
Use synonyms
 of margarine fell significantly to 40
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2007. Showing a complete contrast ,the low fat and reduced spreads was mere 10
grams
Use synonyms
 in 1996,
then
Linking Words
 the trends soared to a peak of 85
grams
Use synonyms
 in 2001,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 2007 ,the
consumption
Use synonyms
 fell back to 70
grams
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion, the need for three types of spreads has completely changed over 26 years

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumption, grams with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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