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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The debate exists on whether young people should have the freedom to select their own profession or if they should adopt a pragmatic approach, considering their future more seriously. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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It is argued whether youngsters ought to consider their
future
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 in a practical method. Personally, I am convinced that it is better for them to have the freedom to choose their profession. On the one hand, choosing some highly skilled jobs,
such
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 as doctors, engineers, and dentists, can enjoy a fruitful
future
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 in a materialistic sense compared to other non-professional occupations.
For instance
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,
although
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 psychologists are required to learn plenty of expertise and participate in practical internships during the school period, they tend to have well-paid remuneration after graduating.
Consequently
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, some individuals who put emphasis on material
life
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 would recognize the opinion that a reliable profession is prominent in the
future
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.
On the other hand
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, from my perspective, if young people can choose an occupation by themselves, it would contribute to some advantages.
Firstly
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, they would have much passion and motivation to accomplish all the tasks since the profession was selected by themselves.
Moreover
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, as soon as they face problems in the
future
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, they will possess much willingness to address obstacles.
Secondly
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, I believe that one’s
life
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 should be dominated by themselves rather than arranged by parents or society's expectations. Take a clear example, most Asian parents are used to arranging the career
as well as
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life
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 path for their children,
whereas
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 not only do the children not gain a better
life
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 but
also
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 feel unsatisfied.
As a result
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, the youths ought to have the liberty to opt for their own vocation and be responsible for the outcome. In conclusion, despite the fact that considering
future
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 jobs more seriously and selecting a professional job can lead to a well-paid
life
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, I still believe that freely choosing what your passion on is more important.

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Task Achievement
Ensure to give a balanced discussion on both views before offering your own opinion. This will strengthen the completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
Consider expanding your argument by providing concrete examples for each viewpoint. This will not only support your main points but also enrich your essay with relevant and specific illustrations.
Coherence and Cohesion
Maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by explanations or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to link your ideas more smoothly by using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will improve the flow of your essay and make the relationship between sentences and paragraphs clearer.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • empowers
  • fulfilling careers
  • personal satisfaction
  • job security
  • potential earnings
  • market demand
  • pragmatic choice
  • stability
  • secure future
  • intertwining
  • emerging market trends
  • innovation
  • ecosystem
  • guidance
  • skill development
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