IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001

the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001
#threeb #show #changes #uk #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The diagram
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 the fluctuations in expenditures by
Brithish
Correct your spelling
British
 college in two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as 1981
and1991
Correct your spelling
and 1991
. Regarding the first chart (1981), teachers had the
biggest
Correct your spelling
highest
show examples
 ratio
respect
Change preposition
with respect
show examples
 to the others.
In addition
Linking Words
, insurance had the
last
Linking Words
 position by about 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the middle places, there were other workers,
resources
Use synonyms
 books and
last
Linking Words
 but not least furniture
equipement
Correct your spelling
equipment
.
Although
Linking Words
 both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resources
Use synonyms
 books and
funiture
Correct your spelling
furniture
 equipment were held in the middle places, they had the same
value
Use synonyms
. In regard
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 second year of record (1991), still teachers had the first position but
this
Linking Words
 time with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 higher
value
Use synonyms
 of 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the second
place
Add a comma
place,
show examples
 we have other workers and it was closely followed by the
resources
Use synonyms
 books. Insurance kept
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
 place and it is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
last
Linking Words
 position
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the chart as well.
overall
Linking Words
, It was clearly shown that the
value
Use synonyms
 of all the
component
Fix the agreement mistake
components
show examples
 shifted up in 1998
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
 to 1991. Even though the
resources
Use synonyms
 and other workers had the same
value
Use synonyms
 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1981, they did not have the same
value
Use synonyms
 in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1991.
Submitted by Parsahassani077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words resources, value with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: