the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001

the threeb pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981,1991 and 2001
The diagram
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
the fluctuations in expenditures by
Brithish
Correct your spelling
British
college in two
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
period
Change to a plural noun
periods
show examples
such
as 1981
and1991
Correct your spelling
and 1991
. Regarding the first chart (1981), teachers had the
biggest
Correct your spelling
highest
show examples
ratio
respect
Change preposition
with respect
show examples
to the others.
In addition
, insurance had the
last
position by about 2
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the middle places, there were other workers,
resources
books and
last
but not least furniture
equipement
Correct your spelling
equipment
.
Although
both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
resources
books and
funiture
Correct your spelling
furniture
equipment were held in the middle places, they had the same
value
. In regard
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
second year of record (1991), still teachers had the first position but
this
time with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
higher
value
of 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In the second
place
Add a comma
place,
show examples
we have other workers and it was closely followed by the
resources
books. Insurance kept
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
place and it is
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
last
position
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
the chart as well.
overall
, It was clearly shown that the
value
of all the
component
Fix the agreement mistake
components
show examples
shifted up in 1998
compare
Change the form of the verb
compared
show examples
to 1991. Even though the
resources
and other workers had the same
value
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1981, they did not have the same
value
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1991.
Submitted by Parsahassani077 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words resources, value with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: