Some countries have come up with law to restrict the working hours of an employee. What is the reason for this? Is that positive or negative ?
In the modern world, many
counties
control the working Correct your spelling
countries
time
of their people
with law policies. Because the government
pays attention to problems
when working for long periods. In this
essay, I will explain the reason for the government
and its affect
Replace the word
effect
to
their Change preposition
on
people
and I believe that positive for their people
.
It is undeniable that people
have problems
of long-time
working. One of the major problem
, when working overtime for a long period is Change to a plural noun
problems
health
problems
. For example
, the
Correct article usage
apply
employee
working in chemical company, they have tend to be disease more than office employees. Because they absorb chemical pollution long Fix the agreement mistake
employees
time
. Moreover
, when they long time
and tend to increase stress on the employee, which directly results in the working efficiency of the worker. The government
pays attention to the birth rate, they got the root of this
problem comes from parents working long time
and less family participation. Thus
the government
decided to restrict the working hours policy to solve these problems
.
To explain the positive effect of restricting employee working hours. It is apparent that the trend of health
problems
would decrease when compared with the past. Because they have more time
to take care of their health
and physical. Furthermore
, the birth rate problem would sovle
after they have Correct your spelling
solve
more
relaxing Add an article
a more
time
. For instacnce
, many parents decided to Correct your spelling
instance
make
Verb problem
have
child
Correct article usage
a child
after
this
policy approved
.
Add a missing verb
was approved
Also
the family relationship would Add a comma
Also,
better
than Add a missing verb
be better
the
past.
Change preposition
in the
To conclude
, It can be seen that the working hours law policy impacts many people
Change noun form
people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as health
, stress
. Correct word choice
and stress
While the
Correct word choice
The
government
should be concernd
Correct your spelling
concerned
the
Change preposition
about the
peoblem
of the birth rate and they believe that restricting laws canCorrect your spelling
problem
adress
these Correct your spelling
address
problems
in positive
way.Change the article
a positive
Submitted by kungslowjam on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear, coherent structure throughout your essay by introducing each paragraph with a topic sentence, followed by supporting details, and concluding with a summarising statement. This helps in maintaining logical flow and clarity.
Task Achievement
In your introduction, clearly state your thesis along with an outline of the main points you will discuss. This sets expectations and guides the reader through your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Try to provide more detailed and specific examples to support your arguments. This adds credibility and depth to your essay, making your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on your essay's conclusion by summarizing your main points and restating your position. This helps reinforce your argument and provides a strong finish to your writing.
General
Carefully proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Clear and correct language usage enhances the overall quality and understandability of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example