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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Learning English is important. Disagree or agree?

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Introduction
From my point of view learning
English
Use synonyms
 open up several doors for everyone.
Body · 1
If we look at the advantages and disadvantages of learning
English
Use synonyms
, there are more benefits rather than minus
sides
Correct your spelling
downsides
show examples
.
Actually
Add a comma
Actually,
show examples
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 no negatives.
Body · 2
Almost every country
students
Use synonyms
 have been
tough
Correct your spelling
taught
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 by
English
Use synonyms
 teachers.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 having a free
English
Use synonyms
 education
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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does not mean all
students
Use synonyms
 can learn
English
Use synonyms
 from school.
Body · 3
Take Uzbekistan as an example,
Uzbek
Correct article usage
The Uzbek
show examples
 government provides free education for all
students
Use synonyms
 and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 to learn
Use synonyms
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
.
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
 not all
students
Use synonyms
 can learn
English
Use synonyms
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Uzbek
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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due to
Linking Words
bad
Correct article usage
the bad
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 study system.
This
Linking Words
 is because they work for
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
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 not for quality.And
this
Linking Words
 can be wasting our time in
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
show examples
.
Body · 4
In my opinion,if you learn
English
Use synonyms
,all the
door
Fix the agreement mistake
doors
show examples
 can be unlocked for you.
For
Linking Words
instance
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instance,
show examples
 if your majority is
English
Use synonyms
 you have
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
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 to have a well-paid job and travel around the world etc.
Body · 5
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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 if we look at the countries which
provides
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provide
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high quality
Add a hyphen
high-quality
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 of teaching
English
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 system,those countries's
students
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 tend to study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad.Knowing
Use synonyms
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 will be of great financial benefit to the state.
Body · 6
While
Linking Words
 other
people
Use synonyms
 think that studying
English
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 as
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 is not important.I personally think
that is
Linking Words
 dominant.
Body · 7
Everyone has
ambition
Change the article
the ambition
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 to try new things
such
Linking Words
 as
acquire
Wrong verb form
acquiring
show examples
 a knowledge of
English
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.I believe that
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 purpose of
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
learning
English
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can
Verb problem
is to
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 improve your intelligence quotient and
also
Linking Words
 you
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
think outside the box.
Body · 8
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
show examples
 after learning
English
Use synonyms
 you will feel that your communication skill improved.Probably you can have a conversation with
people
Use synonyms
 around the world.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
while
Linking Words
 you are traveling you will not have any
language
Use synonyms
 issues because the international
language
Use synonyms
 is
English
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
Add a comma
conclusion,
show examples
 some of narrow minded
people
Use synonyms
 think that
English
Use synonyms
 is not vital.
Therefore
Linking Words
 countries should
make
Verb problem
do
show examples
 their best to teach
Use synonyms
English
Change the article
the English
show examples
language
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 new generation even old
people
Use synonyms
 against them.We must understand that if we do not afford condition to learn
English
Use synonyms
 for our children our society will not succeed
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.

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Introduction
Introduction adequately sets the stage for the argument but lacks a thesis statement clearly outlining your position. Incorporate a definitive thesis statement for a stronger introduction.
Coherence and Cohesion
While your essay presents several key ideas, the transitions between paragraphs can be smoother. Use linking words effectively (e.g., 'Furthermore', 'In addition') to enhance flow and coherence.
Supported Main Points
Some claims lack concrete examples or evidence. Strengthen your argument by adding specific examples or data to support your views.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task, but for a higher score, ensure a more balanced discussion by briefly acknowledging counterarguments before refuting them.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the essay's main points well, but rephrasing your thesis statement here can reinforce your argument. Aim for a resonant closing that underscores the importance of your viewpoint.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • lingua franca
  • multilingual
  • proficiency
  • prerequisite
  • cultural literacy
  • diplomacy
  • globalization
  • innovation
  • cross-cultural communication
  • academic research
  • linguistic barrier
  • job market
  • multinational
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