IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

it is difficult for people in cities to get enough physical excercise. what are the causes and solutions?

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In
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 days and ages,
exercise
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 is very important for each other.
This
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 is not difficult to do but for people in
Add an article
the borough
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borough
Add a comma
borough,
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 it becomes much more difficult.
This
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 essay will analyze some reasons that cause the issue
amd
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and
address
Add the particle
to address
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 some measures to tackle
this
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. At the outset,there are a plethora of reasons causing the problem.the first reason that we need to concern is that
peple
Correct your spelling
people
 in the city have a lot of
work
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 to do. They have so much
work
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 that they have to
work
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 until morning and
exercise
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 seems to disappear.
Exercise
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 seems to have become a part of their daily routine. They skip exercising every day. They don't care about the severity of the
exercise
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. Notwithstanding,some solutions are suggested to address
this
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 issue.
Firstly
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, when they
work
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 until the evening, they can spend a few minutes exercising.
This
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also
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 helps their
health
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 to be better and it can
also
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 help them stay more alert to continue their
work
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.
Secondly
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, everyone should spend some of their free time
instead
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 of entertaining themselves with social networks,
then
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 entertain themselves with
exercise
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. That
also
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 helps them relax more and
work
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 more effectively.
Although
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 the above will not be as effective as regular
exercise
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, it can still help their
health
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 better. In conclusion,
Exercise
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 is indispensable and extremely important for every person. It helps their
health
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 become better and helps them stay alert and have more energy to
work
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 or study. So even in the city, everyone must spend some time exercising
otherwise
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 their
health
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 will no longer be good and can cause many diseases.

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Task Achievement
Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea, supported by relevant examples or further explanation. This helps the reader follow your argument more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on clearer topic sentences for each paragraph. This will help in organizing the essay better and in making your main points stand out.
Lexical Resource
Try to broaden your range of vocabulary. Using varied and appropriate vocabulary can significantly enhance the quality of your essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Pay attention to grammatical errors and work on improving your grammatical range and accuracy. Frequent errors can hinder the clarity of your message.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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