IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

ore and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

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Wild life
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Wildlife
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 extinction is becoming a major concern all over the
wolrd
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world
 because it can damage
the
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apply
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biodiversity which in
tern
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turn
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 can cause a lot of unchangeable problems. Some of the
animals
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 are already extinct
while
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 some
on
Add a missing verb
are on
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 the verge of being extinct.
This
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 essay will discuss
about
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apply
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the reasons behind the extinction
as well as
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 possible solutions to it. The primary reason for
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animals
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animal
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 extinction is
loss
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the loss
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 of natural habitat
due to
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 deforestation.
The human
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Human
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 beings are destroying natural
forest
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forests
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 to get the land for
indutrialization
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industrialization
industrialisation
, which forces the local
animals
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 to leave their homes. Sometimes they end up
loosing
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losing
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 their
live
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lives
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 in the process of finding new
habitat
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habitats
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.
For example
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, some of the wild
animals
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 like
lion
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lions
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 and
cheetah
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cheetahs
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 have been seen outside of the
forests
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forest
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 areas in most
of
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apply
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Indian villages;
as a result
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 of human
interferances
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interference
interferences
 in their natural homes.
This
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 issue can be solved with the help of
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the governmnet
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governmnet
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government
. The
governmnet
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government
 should make rules and
reguations
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regulations
such
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 as
ban
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a ban
the ban
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 on hunting to save endangered
animals
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.
For example
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,
according to
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Correct article usage
the Wild
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Wild life
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Wildlife
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act
Capitalize word
Act
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, India banned cutting off trees to protect the flora and fauna.
Moreover
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,
government
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the government
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 should educate people about the necessity of
animals
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 to maintain the cycle of life on
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
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. It can be done at schools, colleges and local community
centers
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centres
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.
For instance
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, most of the schools in India specifically teach about
Correct article usage
the enironment
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enironment
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environment
 as a separate subject.
Therefore
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, more and more people are being educated about the
importanc
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importance
 of
animals
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. In conclusion, Destruction of forests is the main cause of the deaths of wild
animals
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.
Therefore
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, educating the population makes a lot of difference in protecting the
animals
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.

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Task Achievement
To improve your score, consider accurately addressing all parts of the task. Make sure your essay clearly answers both questions posed in the prompt, providing specific examples and explanations for each.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop a more coherent and cohesive essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help to more clearly connect your ideas and paragraphs. Pay attention to paragraph structure; each paragraph should have a clear main idea supported by explanations or examples.
General Language Proficiency
Check your work for grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language proficiency.
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