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Writing Samples /
Band 6

we are addicted to social media . Do you agree or disagree ?

#media
Nowadays 20th century is attached to social
media
due to
 its joy and easy way to waste time. Social
media
such
 as Instagram, Facebook, and Telegram distract our minds and don't let us do anything useful.
Also
 getting likes for our posts on social
media
 calls us to
post
 again and again. Global scientists said that one day feels like not enough to end up working, in my opinion, it's all because of the social
media
 in which we spend our time.
On the other hand
, watching short videos regularly makes us lose focus on something like reading books or concentrating. There are several ways to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
fun on social
media
such
 as watching funny videos that make us laugh and share crazy moments in our lives. Social
media
 like Instagram, Facebook, and Telegram are well distributed amongst the public. There are lots of stars from all around the world who
post
 regularly their daily lives on social
media
.
Although
 we follow and check up on our favourite stars
while
 enjoying their content. Everybody in modern society has an ambition to create and
post
 on their channel. Receiving likes and enjoyable comments prompts us to
post
 commonly.
Also
, it was a lovely feeling if someone was amused by your content
while
 spectating you every day. In conclusion, social
media
 wastes our time and even makes us lose our way.
However
, discover your favourite enthusiasm and fascinate people
while
 finding loyal followers. Maybe you can be part of the popularity.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
Clarify your stance in the introduction more explicitly to guide the reader. A clear thesis statement will also help in achieving a higher score in task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Focus on creating clear, distinct paragraphs, with each one presenting a single idea supported by examples or explanations. This will improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. This will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with more detailed explanations or examples. This will help in making your ideas more comprehensive and clear, contributing to a higher task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Revise the conclusion to more directly reflect on your initial stance and summarise the main points of the essay, this will strengthen the introduction and conclusion presence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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