IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter, •explain why you changed jobs •describe your new job •tell him / her your other news

#minutes #work #company #friend #•explain #jobs #•describe #job #•tell #news
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Hi Sam, I hope my letter will find you in good health. The reason why I'm writing is to share good changes in my professional life. Probably, you remember that I was looking for a job opportunity at Apple, one of the most remarkable companies in the globe.
To begin
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 with, I was delighted with the previous enterprise.
However
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, I couldn't be promoted to a new role. Even though, I showed good results in the sales area. Unfortunately, as I don't speak Chinese they hired someone else
instead
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 of giving me the opportunity.
Then
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, I applied for a job through the website and they hired me two weeks ago as a sales manager in Europe.
This
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 role is more focused on exports to Europe. Basically, I have to sell all the new devices to the oldest continent as I speak three languages including Spanish, English and Italian.
Also
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, I need to track all the sales and discounts.
Furthermore
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, I will travel many times to check the shops and have a chat with the operational managers. Apart from that, my husband bought a new farm and village on the outskirts and we feel so lucky that the central bank supported us with a loan. Those accomodations have all the main mod-cons, so you'll feel warm and happy in there. I hope to catch you soon as you're more welcome to visit any time. Let us know when you can stay with us. Please text me as soon as possible so we can discuss the nuances. I look forward to your reply. Best wishes, Claudia
Submitted by klaudia2301 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and readability, consider breaking more intricate ideas into shorter sentences or smaller paragraphs. This will help avoid long-winded sentences and improve reader engagement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph is focused on a single idea for maximal coherence. This can be achieved by making each paragraph slightly shorter and more succinct.
greeting and closing
Excellent greeting and closing sections provide a strong, warm beginning and end to your letter.
suitable writing tone
Your writing tone is highly appropriate for the context – friendly, engaging, and clear.
complete response
You've addressed all aspects of the prompt in a comprehensive and detailed manner.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 150 words in writing task 1. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long letter will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 160 to 190 words in writing task 1. This will ensure a concise letter and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 20 minutes to write the letter and you need around 5 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long letter in 15 minutes.

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