IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

environmental problems are too big for individual countries and individual persons to address. In other words, we have reached the stage where the only way to protect the environment is at an international level. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#countries #persons #address #stage #environment #level
It is irrefutable that, nowadays,
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 issues are increasing significantly;
therefore
, it becomes
Correct article usage
a dilapidate
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dilapidate
Replace the word
dilapidated
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 situation for each
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
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 as well for each
individuals
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individual
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.
Dur
Correct your spelling
Due
 to
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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this
 predicament, a plethora of individuals ponder that it ought to get
attention
Add an article
the attention
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 of international countries.
This
 essay
discuss
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discusses
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environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 problems which can
be solve
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be solved
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by
Change preposition
at
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Correct article usage
the nation
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nation
Replace the word
national
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level
 rather
that
Correct word choice
than
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international
Correct article usage
the international
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along
with
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apply
show examples
my opinion will
narrate
Wrong verb form
be narrated
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 in
further
paragraph
Fix the agreement mistake
paragraphs
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. To commence with, the prominent reason
of
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for
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this
 situation is that people can
be rescue
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rescue
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this
 problem by taking some steps at
national
Add an article
the national
a national
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level
.
Firstly
,
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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highly
Add a missing verb
is highly
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deteriorate
Verb problem
degraded
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 by pollution which
done
Add a missing verb
is done
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 by
the
Remove the article
apply
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each person in their own country.
Consequently
, praiseworthy steps for
this
 phenomenon
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 that people could halt or alleviate the utilization
commodities
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of commodities
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 which affect
in
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apply
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an
Correct article usage
the
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environment
.
For example
, to mitigate the disaster problem of
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 one should neglate to use of vehicles continuously.
As a result
, it influences the nature
with
Change preposition
of
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 optimal outcomes at
national
Add an article
the national
a national
show examples
level
.
In addition
, it is undeniable that the own
country
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country's
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 problems merely
tackle
Wrong verb form
tackled
show examples
 by their own inhabitants.
Therefore
, despite damaging their own
nation
, they are worried about the calamity,
due to
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
this
 circumstance, they should follow certain rules to diminish peril.
In other words
, if deforestation
could
Verb problem
is
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 clogged by regions, it leads
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
huge difference in
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
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in
Change preposition
on
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 worthy side.
For example
, it is true that, having a huge infrastructure of
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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 forests are cut, which
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
a
Change preposition
to a
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scarity
Correct your spelling
scarcity
security
 of
tress
Correct your spelling
trees
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 and forests, too.
Consequently
, by giving attention toward own
nation
 it can
be resolve
Change the verb form
be resolved
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
Correct article usage
the nation
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nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
level
. In conclusion, in my perspective,
although
international
Correct article usage
the international
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level
have
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has
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huge
Add an article
a huge
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 amount of
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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 for
this
 occurrence,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
taking obligation on their own lead much better situation in
country
Add an article
the country
show examples
 and for their own as well.
Submitted by viewsoysoongnern on

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logical structure
Focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, and make sure subsequent sentences support that topic.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize your argument. Your conclusion should restate your opinion in a concise manner.
supported main points
Further develop your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Each paragraph should have a clear focus and provide specific evidence to support your argument.
complete response
Fully address all parts of the task prompt. Make sure your essay presents a clear argument responding directly to the question asked, with a balanced discussion of relevant issues.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clearer and more comprehensive development of your ideas. Avoid vague statements and ensure that your point of view is supported by strong evidence or examples.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more relevant and specific examples to bolster your arguments. Examples should be clearly linked to the points you are making and enhance the reader's understanding of your position.
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