Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
From the ancient Roman Empire to the modern
society
, sports
has
been a part of the human history. It has witnessed Change the verb form
have
the
civilization and it has developed into different levels with the aid of technology.
In modern Correct article usage
apply
society
, most people play sports
as a past-time
activity. Statistics and papers demonstrated that the hustle and bustle lifestyle nowadays has led to a surge in Correct your spelling
pastime
psychologcal
illness globally, Correct your spelling
psychological
for example
, depression. Participating in sports
can produce endorphins which is essential in creating thrust
of Correct article usage
a thrust
excitment
and positive emotions. Many corporations Correct your spelling
excitement
encourages
employees to Change the verb form
encourage
participates
in Wrong verb form
participate
sports
like yoga during lunch hour aiming to ease stress and to maintain a work-life balance. Nonetheless
, sports
helps shapes characters in personal growth like perserverance
and stamina in Correct your spelling
perseverance
adversed
situations.
Correct your spelling
adverse
With
Change preposition
Without
no
doubt, Correct determiner usage
a
sports
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
bring
significant positive impacts Change the verb form
brought
to
people in personal growth as a leisure activity. Change preposition
on
However
, sports
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
also
posed
a great impact Verb problem
had
to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. when we look into a
bigger picture.
The first Correct article usage
the
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
Games
was held by the Great Alexander during the times of Roman
Empire. At Correct article usage
the Roman
first,
only male Greeks were allowed to join the games
as competitors yet later females and foerigners
were Correct your spelling
foreigners
also
welcomed to participate. Nowadays, competitors from countries all over the globe and with different religious background
are all welcomed. Cultural exchanges are greatly promoted. Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
Besides
, there is a significant postiive
financial impact Correct your spelling
positive
to
Change preposition
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. Swamps of tourists visit the countries who held Correct article usage
the Olympics
Olympics
Fix the agreement mistake
Olympic
Games
once ever
four years and Correct your spelling
every
this
is certainly a great news
Remove the article
great news
a piece of great news
to
the local catering and hotel industries and tourist attractions. Change preposition
for
Moreover
, the building of recreational landuse
like Correct your spelling
land use
sports
complexes promotes the infrastructural developement
. Paraolympics Correct your spelling
development
Games
also
eliminates
Correct subject-verb agreement
eliminate
discrimnation
and Correct your spelling
discrimination
enhances
equality in Correct subject-verb agreement
enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
Sports
promotes
personal psychological and Change the verb form
promote
psysical
growth in individuals yet Correct your spelling
physical
sports
promotes harmony and sportsmanship which are the key to succeed
and prosperity in Replace the word
success
the
modern Correct article usage
apply
society
in long
run.Correct article usage
the long
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Task Achievement
Ensure you have a clear introduction and conclusion that specifically address the task question and clearly present your opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve clarity and coherence, work on connecting your ideas more clearly using transition phrases. For example, when moving from personal benefits to societal benefits of sports, a sentence like 'While the individual benefits of sports are clear, it also holds significant societal advantages.' can bridge the sections smoothly.
Task Achievement
Use real-world examples to support your main points further. While you've touched upon the Olympics and its impact, delve deeper into how these events foster cultural exchanges and economic benefits, drawing from specific instances or data.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review your essay for any grammatical or spelling errors to enhance its overall readability. Although your essay is largely understandable, polishing language and punctuation can help express your ideas more clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
