Some people think the government should pay for health care and education, but there is no agreement about whether it is the government's responsibility. What is your opinion?
There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate over whether making an investment in the medical care and educational system is of the essence for the governor.
While
some claim that the lawmaker
ought to cover the expense,the opposite makes a statement that there is a lack of consensus regarding whether it is the Fix the agreement mistake
lawmakers
government
's accountability. I would contend that the authority
should splurge money on them but they don't pay it completely.
Without a shadow of a doubt, providing financial support for medical care and schooling should be Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
Correct article usage
the responsible
responsible
Replace the word
responsibility
by
the Change preposition
of
government
. The explanation for this
could be that dweller’s
Fix the agreement mistake
dwellers’
labor
quality and physical Change the spelling
labour
health
can be significantly improved, leading to a boost in the national economy. For example
, the policy of providing scholarships and health
insurance for citizens is adopted by some leading countries such
as Germany and the
Holland with prosperous economies. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, paying for the above two important systems is a necessary thing that the government
should do.
While
the necessity for financial support for health
and education by the government
is widely acknowledged, they should not cover for
Change preposition
apply
this
at all. And the basis of this
is that national coffers are limited since they still have to subsidize other aspects. And residents should pay for them themselves because they will be more accountable and raise awareness about health
protection and quality assurance research. Building infrastructure, developing tourism and strengthening the entertainment industry can be cited as third of the most remarkable examples which
governments need to investChange preposition
in which
in
. So all the expenses from the mentioned facets will not be funded by them.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
although
financial support for schooling and the health
care system is put into priority for national economic development, this
cost should not be completely covered by the government
’s fund
.Fix the agreement mistake
funds
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Task Achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the main question or statement. While your position is clear, you could enhance your essay by more explicitly stating how health care and education relate directly to whether or not it's the government's responsibility.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While your logical structure is solid, using varied connectors can help with the overall cohesion and make your essay read more smoothly.
Task Achievement & Coherence & Cohesion
Provide specific examples that directly support your main points. Your essay mentions examples like Germany and the Holland, but expanding on these with more detailed explanation or introducing additional examples will strengthen your argument and task response.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite