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Part 2 Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#part #educators #child #instrument
In today's world, the role which music plays has been of great importance. It is believed that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument and I partially agree with
this
 statement, as deciding
to
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apply
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children should have career performance rather than being forced. Music has numerous benefits.
Firstly
, it promotes cognitive development. Playing a musical instrument requires the combination of different senses like seeing and hearing
as well as
 manual manipulation of these instruments with hands and feet simultaneously, which eventually inclines them towards multitasking effectively.
For instance
, when playing a classical drum, players have to make use of their legs, hands and brain all at once.
Secondly
,
this
 serves as a form of recreational activity which in the long run can be a source of income.
On the other hand
, juveniles are different in terms of nature, personalities and hobbies.
To begin
 with, it is not important
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 they must be singing candidates. If they are forced to do what they have no interest in, there are a plethora of side effects.
However
, if adolescents learn
playing
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to play
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 a musical instrument
according to
 their choice, they stand a chance to excel.
In addition
, learning any musical appliance requires a lot of funds and
low income
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low-income
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 families can not afford the fee to buy the materials including paying a tutor.
Thus
,
Correct article usage
the interest
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interest
Correct article usage
the interest
show examples
 of children and the financial status of parents should be properly considered. In conclusion, it is a diversional activity and
boost
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boosts
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 their intellectual development, it disregards their personal interests and poses a huge financial strain
parents
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on parents
show examples
. (261 words)
Submitted by g4832525 on

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task response
To strengthen your argument, ensure your essay has a clear, distinct opinion that is consistent throughout. This makes it easier for the reader to follow and understand your stance on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, providing a smoother reader experience.
task response
Develop and expand your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Work on concluding your essay more effectively by summarizing your key points and restating your main opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a satisfactory closure for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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