Part 2 Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, the role which music plays has been of great importance. It is believed that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument and I partially agree with

this

statement, as deciding

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apply

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children should have career performance rather than being forced. Music has numerous benefits.

Firstly

, it promotes cognitive development. Playing a musical instrument requires the combination of different senses like seeing and hearing

as well as

manual manipulation of these instruments with hands and feet simultaneously, which eventually inclines them towards multitasking effectively.

For instance

, when playing a classical drum, players have to make use of their legs, hands and brain all at once.

Secondly

this

serves as a form of recreational activity which in the long run can be a source of income.

On the other hand

, juveniles are different in terms of nature, personalities and hobbies.

To begin

with, it is not important

they

Correct pronoun usage

that

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they must be singing candidates. If they are forced to do what they have no interest in, there are a plethora of side effects.

However

, if adolescents learn

playing

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to play

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a musical instrument

according to

their choice, they stand a chance to excel.

In addition

, learning any musical appliance requires a lot of funds and

low income

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low-income

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families can not afford the fee to buy the materials including paying a tutor.

Thus

Correct article usage

the interest

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interest

Correct article usage

the interest

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of children and the financial status of parents should be properly considered. In conclusion, it is a diversional activity and

boost

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boosts

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their intellectual development, it disregards their personal interests and poses a huge financial strain

parents

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on parents

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. (261 words)

Submitted by g4832525 on Wed Mar 13 2024

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task response

To strengthen your argument, ensure your essay has a clear, distinct opinion that is consistent throughout. This makes it easier for the reader to follow and understand your stance on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Enhance your essay by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect ideas and paragraphs, providing a smoother reader experience.

task response

Develop and expand your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to substantiate your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.

coherence and cohesion

Work on concluding your essay more effectively by summarizing your key points and restating your main opinion. This reinforces your argument and provides a satisfactory closure for the reader.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

263 words

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Part 2 Some educators believe that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

most employers do job interview before offering a position to a person. do you think this is the best way to do it, or are there better alternatives? what is the best method of choosing employees in your opinion?

While travelling by metro train, your credit card slipped out of your pocket. You realized this only after reaching home. Write a letter to the concerned authorities and explain what happened.