Part 2 To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#part #business #maths

It is true that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

working in an economic field requires a deep knowledge of maths.

While

it is believed that people need to know maths to succeed in a business, I partially agree with

this

statement as decided to

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

show examples

will need

math

as a tool to solve business problems.

Firstly

, science can help to solve sophisticated equations,

businessman

Fix the agreement mistake

businessmen

show examples

can use maths to calculate incomes, outcomes or the salaries of employees and manage the number of employees.

For instance

, they can count the profits those employees bring and

then

give reasonable wages to them.

Secondly

, learning

math

will allow people to have a creative mind and improve critical thinking. Undoubtedly, a

genious

Correct your spelling

genius

in analytical or other fields related to

math

always

solve

Correct subject-verb agreement

solves

show examples

issues in the fastest and most intelligent ways.

On the other hand

, some undergraduates confirmed that they did not complete any class or school, but still come off well. It might be true in a few cases, but in reality, they must have little knowledge

Change preposition

show examples

math

to solve easy problems. To achieve

such

a successful result in employment, a company must have accountants and managers in the economy, but

Change preposition

show examples

top of

that is

a leader who has trustable

idea

Fix the agreement mistake

ideas

show examples

and strategies to bring their team to come up with extraordinary solutions. If people make a low or medium transaction, they would not need to use complex calculations. But if they own a high dimension of the company, they might hire experts for help. In conclusion,

math

is not only the way to succeed in a trade but

also

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is crucial when they want to start a business. (272 words)

Submitted by g4832525 on Wed Mar 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement

Ensure your essay has a clear position throughout. While you attempt to explore both sides of the argument, ensure that your own view is clear and maintained consistently to avoid confusion.

Task Achievement

Work on providing more specific and varied examples to support your arguments. General statements should be supplemented with specific, concrete examples to strengthen your point.

Coherence & Cohesion

Focus on varied and sophisticated sentence structures. Avoid overly simple sentences as they can impact the richness of your writing. Experiment with complex sentence forms to express your ideas more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Organise your essay more effectively by dedicating paragraphs to specific arguments. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea of the paragraph, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, people like to travel to every corner of the world and gather information about the cultures and history of those places. Some masses believe that foreign visitors should pay more than the local people to visit traditional and historical attractions however some oppose that this will have an effect on tourism. It will be explained in the upcoming paragraphs including my own opinion.
4
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.
There are some arguments when talking about travel world-wide. Some people think that foreign exhibitors should obey local rules and traits while others argue that seignior have to open with diverse culture. Despite argument against, I believe it is the responsibility of the host nations to provide accomodation, recognizing the value of cultural exchange.
6
band
some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel, but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both view and your opinion.
There is an opinion saying that experiments on animals are not ethical. While others advocate it is inevitable since progress in science has relied on such behaviour. I would agree with the first view because animals' lives are as important as human life. I would like to express my views by elaborating both points of view.
5
band
Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In the technology era, many people believe that more t time spent on electronic devices can be more beneficial for children. While othes believe this could have bad effects on children's growth.I believe the negatives outweigh the positives of using technological devices for children.
4.5
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are some arguments that foreigners living in other countries face a wide range of social problems as well as practical issues due to the language barrier. From my perspective, I totally agree with this point of view for the following reasons.

Part 2 To succeed in a business, one needs to know maths. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think foreign visitors should be charged more than local person when they visit the cultural and historical attractions in a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opionion.

some people think that using animals for experimentation purpose is cruel, but other people think that it is necessary for the development of science. Discuss both view and your opinion.

Some people believe that time spent on television, video and computer games can be valuable for children. Others beleve this may have negative effects on a child's development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.