IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

With the development of online, there is no future for the radio. To what extent do you agree?

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Introduction
Nowadays social media and
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
has
Change the verb form
have
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 become
most
Correct article usage
the most
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 popular
way
Fix the agreement mistake
ways
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 to read
news
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the news
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 or
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
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radio
Use synonyms
. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that with
this
Linking Words
 concept
radio
Use synonyms
 will not survive in the future.
Body paragraph 1
In my opinion
radio
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's future is not brilliant, but it could
be survive
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survive
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 for old-fashioned
people
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.
Body paragraph 2
However
Linking Words
, everything becomes much
more
Change the word
apply
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easier for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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people
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 means you can get whatever you want with only one click on your phone including listening
radio
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.
Body paragraph 3
There is no reason
for
Change preposition
to
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 search and carry big radios with you as everyone
have
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has
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 a smartphone.
Body paragraph 4
On the other
Linking Words
hand
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hand,
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 not everyone can deal with new technology
especially
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, especially
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 our grandparents.
Body paragraph 5
Linking Words
Furthermore
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Furthermore,
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 the old-fashioned
people
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 know that it's not the same to click and listen
some
Change preposition
to some
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 music it is much more nostalgic to
listen
Add the preposition
listen to
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 it on the
radio
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.
Conclusion
In
conclusion
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conclusion,
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 technology is growing up quickly and
this
Linking Words
 brings
to
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apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 much more easy
Correct your spelling
access
accsess
Correct your spelling
access
for
Change preposition
to
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 everything listening to music as well but old-fashioned
people
Use synonyms
 will continue to prefer
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
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instead
Linking Words
 of online

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Task Achievement
Consider creating a stronger thesis statement in your introduction to clearly present your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
Expand on your points with more examples and a deeper analysis to better support your argument.
Task Achievement
Ensure you provide a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively before concluding.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay with clear paragraphs for the introduction, each main point, and the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Revise for clarity and try to avoid repetition or overly simplistic statements.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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