IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Task 2 Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
The utilization of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
open areas for planting or building more housing has become a debatable issue. In my opinion, I agree that gardens play a vital role in human development. In the forthcoming paragraphs, I shall explain my point of view and give supporting reasons. Nowadays, the world has had to deal with a huge problem of housing deficiency
due to
 the increasing migration of people from rural areas to urban areas, forming densely populated cities.
This
 means, the cost of a
house
 has grown significantly and
this
 is the major reason people can't afford a
house
, an apartment, or even rent a
house
.
For example
,
according to
 the statistics of Ha Noi National University, in 2021, the price of a
house
 rose three times compared to that in 2012
as a result
 of mass migration from the countryside to the city in search of jobs at that time.
In addition
, housing shortages may force people to live in poor conditions ranging from unsanitary conditions to the growing rate of crime. Admittedly, trees play an essential role in the air and environment.
For instance
, they bring fresh air, lower
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
show examples
, and reduce global warming.
However
,
due to
 the unrest that the housing deficit may cause, governments should implement policies for most land to be used for housing and an appropriate amount of land for trees. To summarize, housing scarcity is a critical problem that may cause an insecure living environment for individuals.
Therefore
, it should be addressed immediately. (249 words)
Submitted by g4832525 on

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task achievement
Ensure to address the prompt fully by discussing both sides of the argument or presenting a clear stance throughout the essay; your essay slightly leans more towards discussing the housing crisis without fully exploring the significance of planting trees in urban areas to the same extent.
task achievement
Enhance the completeness of your argument by providing specific examples and elaborating on how planting trees in urban spaces can also address some urban challenges, not just focusing on housing
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphing effectively to separate ideas clearly. Try to devote one paragraph to each main idea so that your argument structure is evident to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your examples are directly related to the argument you are making. While the example of housing price increase in Ha Noi supports your point about housing scarcity, consider adding examples that directly correlate with the benefits of tree planting in urban areas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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