IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010

The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010
#expenditure #two #countries #consumer #goods
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The given bar chart illustrates how much spending on five variety
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 namely
Cars
Use synonyms
, Computers, Books,
perfume
Fix the agreement mistake
perfumes
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 and cameras in two different
nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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France
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 over the period of 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent more mon on
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 than
France
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while
Linking Words
 perfume was the money least popular
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
 of both these nations. In detail, in
cars
Use synonyms
,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent
huge
Fix the agreement mistake
a lot of
show examples
 money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying
cars
Use synonyms
than given
Verb problem
compared to
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 other
consumer
Use synonyms
goods
Use synonyms
, which was 4,50,000.
Similarly
Linking Words
,
France
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 spent the most amount on
cars
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 and the least on cameras, which accounts for 4,00,000 and 1,50,000
subsequently
Linking Words
. Book's expenditure was the second-highest in
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, at 4,00,000 meanwhile
France
Use synonyms
 had
Wrong verb form
spent
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spending
Wrong verb form
spent
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 3,00,000.
These both
Correct determiner usage
Both
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 nations had slight changes
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 computers,
France
Use synonyms
was
Verb problem
had
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 around 3,75,000 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 had 3,50,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
, perfume was
unpopular
Correct article usage
an unpopular
show examples
consumer
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
goods
Fix the agreement mistake
good
show examples
 in
Ok
Correct your spelling
OK
show examples
, only around 1,25,000 but
Use synonyms
France
Change preposition
in France
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 spent 2,00,000.
In addition
Linking Words
,
France
Use synonyms
 spent the least amount
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 buying cameras, at 1,50,000 meanwhile
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 spent
huse
Correct your spelling
more
 money on
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these goods
show examples
goods
Use synonyms
, which accounts for 3,50,000.
Submitted by reanudeepan on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words consumer, goods, cars, france, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • consumer goods
  • chart
  • countries
  • overall
  • compare
  • analyze
  • categories
  • consumer spending
  • trends
  • proportions
  • statistics
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • notable
  • remarkable
  • substantial
  • considerable
  • determine
  • conclude
  • in conclusion
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