Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operative rather than compete become more useful aduts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There are different opinions of
people
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on upbringing and to make
children
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responsible human beings in the future. Some
people
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argue that
competition
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should be taught in
children
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,
while
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others
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think that both competitive and cooperative behaviours are equally important.
However
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, I believe that a sense of
cooperation
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is more important than
competition
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as it helps a
child
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become a better person in society. On the one hand, some
people
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suggest that a sense of
competition
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in
children
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should be instilled from childhood as it motivates them to work hard and understand their true potential by achieving their aim.
Thus
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,
competition
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enhances motivation and gives a sense of accomplishment. A healthy
competition
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may build a
child
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’s self-confidence and determination to accomplish the goal in competitive situations. But if a
child
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is
pressurized
Verb problem
pressured
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too much, it will be counterproductive.
For instance
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, if a
child
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participates in a quiz
competition
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and competes with
others
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, the
child
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undergoes the pressure of teachers or parents. They try to win the
competition
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at any cost without zeal
in
Change preposition
for
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learning or any
knowledge acquiring
Add a hyphen
knowledge-acquiring
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spirit.
On the other hand
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, some
people
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opine that
cooperation
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is more powerful than
competition
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for an individual to become successful.
In other words
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,
people
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believe that
cooperation
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will allow
children
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to understand and adjust to the requirements of
others
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in their team. It will encourage
children
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to have a good relationship with
others
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and respect
others
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’ opinions.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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collaboration will bring wonderful outcomes for a team.
For example
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, if
children
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cooperate, they can understand the importance of sharing, exchanging ideas and help, accepting and respecting each other’s opinions, and tolerating each other.
Cooperation
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is a must-have attribute at every step of our life. To summarize, in my opinion, both
competition
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and
cooperation
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are highly vital for
children
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’s development.
While
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I believe that
competition
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is required at some point in our lives,
cooperation
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is necessary for
overall
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development.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement early in your essay to directly address the essay question. This will help to enhance your task response score.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more concrete scenarios which enhances your argument and improves task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity and effectiveness of your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will strengthen your essay's coherence and cohesion, making your arguments easier for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes your view well, consider reinforcing it by briefly restating the key points from both perspectives before presenting your stance. This enhances your essay's coherence, cohesion, and task response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instills
  • drive for excellence
  • continuous improvement
  • real-world challenges
  • competitive spirit
  • resilience
  • coping skills
  • teamwork skills
  • inclusive society
  • collective success
  • empathy
  • mutual support
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