Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operative rather than compete become more useful aduts. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There are different opinions of
people
on upbringing and to make
children
responsible human beings in the future. Some
people
argue that
competition
should be taught in
children
,
while
others
think that both competitive and cooperative behaviours are equally important.
However
, I believe that a sense of
cooperation
is more important than
competition
as it helps a
child
become a better person in society. On the one hand, some
people
suggest that a sense of
competition
in
children
should be instilled from childhood as it motivates them to work hard and understand their true potential by achieving their aim.
Thus
,
competition
enhances motivation and gives a sense of accomplishment. A healthy
competition
may build a
child
’s self-confidence and determination to accomplish the goal in competitive situations. But if a
child
is
pressurized
Verb problem
pressured
show examples
too much, it will be counterproductive.
For instance
, if a
child
participates in a quiz
competition
and competes with
others
, the
child
undergoes the pressure of teachers or parents. They try to win the
competition
at any cost without zeal
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
learning or any
knowledge acquiring
Add a hyphen
knowledge-acquiring
show examples
spirit.
On the other hand
, some
people
opine that
cooperation
is more powerful than
competition
for an individual to become successful.
In other words
,
people
believe that
cooperation
will allow
children
to understand and adjust to the requirements of
others
in their team. It will encourage
children
to have a good relationship with
others
and respect
others
’ opinions.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collaboration will bring wonderful outcomes for a team.
For example
, if
children
cooperate, they can understand the importance of sharing, exchanging ideas and help, accepting and respecting each other’s opinions, and tolerating each other.
Cooperation
is a must-have attribute at every step of our life. To summarize, in my opinion, both
competition
and
cooperation
are highly vital for
children
’s development.
While
I believe that
competition
is required at some point in our lives,
cooperation
is necessary for
overall
development.
Submitted by  11E4 Community on

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task achievement
Develop a clearer thesis statement early in your essay to directly address the essay question. This will help to enhance your task response score.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to support your points. This could involve citing studies, statistics, or more concrete scenarios which enhances your argument and improves task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Work on the clarity and effectiveness of your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will strengthen your essay's coherence and cohesion, making your arguments easier for the reader to follow.
coherence cohesion
While your conclusion summarizes your view well, consider reinforcing it by briefly restating the key points from both perspectives before presenting your stance. This enhances your essay's coherence, cohesion, and task response.
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