Some people believe that it is essential to include physical eduction classes i the curriculum for all school-age children. Others think that children's time is better spent on more academic subjects. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.
Presently, physical wellness is as important as academic
education
in schools
. Whilst people contend the notion that physical classes
should be amended to the school curriculum, proponents of academic education
address a contrary opinion so
to say children's time should solely be diverted towards subjects like mathematics and science. It is my contention that filling out children's time at Correct word choice
apply
schools
with academic classes
can be backfired
Wrong verb form
backfire
at
Change preposition
on
education
provides
, Replace the word
providers
therefore
, a hybrid educational system that entails fitness and academic classes
should cautiously be considered for a
sustainable development.
First and foremost, I think the first point of dissent originates from the fact that in Remove the article
apply
schools
, children's durability is limited to a few hours, which causes them to burn-out
frequently. Correct your spelling
burn out
Addition
of gym Correct article usage
The addition
classes
at education
centres has tremendous benefits in making these previously time-loss hours much more effective by rejuvenating their brain and energy. For example
, in Azerbaijan
Correct article usage
the Azerbaijan
education
system, there is
at least one gym class in-between two adjacent academic Change the verb form
are
classes
to reduce their
tension and help them Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
Change preposition
apply
replanishing
their energy. Resultantly, Correct your spelling
replenishing
this
refreshment encourages them to gain a better and easier comprehension at
academic topics that Change preposition
of
necessitates
thorough dedication.
Correct subject-verb agreement
necessitate
Moreover
, another point why I do presume the effectiveness of helding
Correct your spelling
holding
classes
that are full of dynamic activities for youngsters is the health advantages that come alongside with them. As they say, healthy
mind starts with a healthy body, Correct article usage
a healthy
thus
, it is utterly important to acknowledge that physical classes
are meant to be Correct article usage
an indispensible
indispensible
part of Correct your spelling
indispensable
modern
Add an article
the modern
education
system due to
its
numerous Correct pronoun usage
their
healthy
benefits. Replace the word
health
For instance
, juveniles can develop sports habits at schools
which will contribute towards their future life let alone in classrooms.
In conclusion, although
some parents are overancious
about Correct your spelling
overanxious
scientific
preparedness of their kids, sometimes they Correct article usage
the scientific
forgot
that their kids should Wrong verb form
forget
also
indulge the
marvels of life. Bearing in mind Change preposition
in the
aforementioned
merits, I think Correct article usage
the aforementioned
inclusion
of physical Add an article
the inclusion
classes
at schools
is a silver bullet solution to increase the quality education
at Change preposition
of education
schools
.Submitted by orkhanshamil on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the importance of physical education alongside academic subjects, which is commendable. However, to enhance task achievement, ensure your argument addresses both views comprehensively before presenting your own perspective. This approach will demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more logical flow of ideas. Start by introducing each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea. Then, develop this idea with relevant examples or explanations and conclude each paragraph with a statement that links to the overall argument. Additionally, pay attention to the accurate use of connectors (e.g., Firstly, Furthermore, In conclusion) to ensure smooth transitions between sections.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the clarity and structure of your introduction and conclusion. The introduction should clearly state the topic and your thesis statement (your main argument), while the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate your position. This clarity will strengthen the overall impact of your essay.