IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the global demand for different textile fibres between 1980 and 2015.

The graph below shows the global demand for different textile fibres between 1980 and 2015.
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The graph provides information about how many people
visiting
Wrong verb form
visit
show examples
 a selected
carribean
Correct your spelling
caribbean
island
Use synonyms
, over a seven-year period between 2010-2017. The period witnessed an increasing trend of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
tourits
Correct your spelling
tourists
 staying on the
cruiseship
Correct your spelling
cruise ship
. Meanwhile, the
number
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 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 staying on the
island
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was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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slightly fluctuated and showed little change. In general,
however
Linking Words
, the graph shows an increase in the total
number
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 of tourists coming to the
island
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. The total
number
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 of
visitors
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 started at 1
million
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 in 2010 and increased considerably every year during the period except between 2015-2016
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the
number
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was remained
Change to the active voice
remained
has remained
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 static. After that, the
number
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 rose rapidly between 2016 to 2017, from 2.75
million
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 to 3.5
million
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 respectively. Regarding the
Use synonyms
visitors
Correct quantifier usage
number of visitors
show examples
 staying on cruise ships, it
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
show examples
 in the first three years between 2010-2013.
However
Linking Words
, the
number
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 rose significantly between 2013-2017, increasing from 0.5
million
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 to 2
million
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, respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the
number
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 of travellers staying on
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island
Add an article
the island
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 started higher at 0.75
million
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 in 2010
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to travellers living on the cruise ships, in 2017, the
number
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 of
visitors
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 staying on
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island
Add an article
the island
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 was less than the one who lived
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the cruise ships

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words island, number, visitors, million with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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