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Writing Samples
Band 6

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selectng and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Summarise the information by selectng and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#land #three #regions #world #summarise #information #selectng #features #comparisons
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The pie chart informs the reasons of agricultural
land
 becomes less productive which is divided into four categories.
Also
, the table depicts the regions
suffered
Correct pronoun usage
that suffered
show examples
land
degradation
 in three
continental
Replace the word
continents
show examples
 namely North America,
Europe
, and
Ocenia
Correct your spelling
Oceania
 during the 1990s. Generally, the global main reason for
land
degradation
 was
over-grazzing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
,
while
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Europe
 suffered the highest total
land
degradation
. Looking at the proportion of causes of
land
degradation
 globally, a lot of animals and
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 trees made
of
Change preposition
up
show examples
 65 per
cent
,
represent
Change the form of the verb
representing
show examples
 35 per
cent
 and 30 per
cent
 respectively. Meanwhile, over-cultivation comprised 28 per
cent
 of worldwide
land
degradation
,
then
 other factors accounted for 7 per
cent
. Turning to
table
Correct article usage
the table
show examples
 data,
Europe
became
Verb problem
had
show examples
 the highest
land
 degraded among
others continent
Fix the agreement mistake
other continents
show examples
. As regards the breakdown of causes of
land
degradation
 in
Europe
, deforestation was the main reason with 9.8 per
cent
. Meanwhile, Oceania took the second place
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
region
Add an article
the region
a region
show examples
 that suffered
land
degradation
 with the main reason
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 over-grazing. North America accounted for 5 per
cent
 of
land
degradation
 with over-
culvitation
Correct your spelling
cultivation
became
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
 rea
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land, degradation, europe, cent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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