The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.
The pictures compare the development of Grange Park in 1920 to
present
times.
Correct article usage
the present
Overall
, there are dramatic changes at
the Change preposition
in
area
throughout the time period. It has gone from public facilities to commercial area
.
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
Additonally
, in the middle of the Correct your spelling
Additionally
area
in past
time, there was a fountain which had Correct article usage
the past
removed
and changed to Add a missing verb
been removed
rose
garden Correct article usage
a rose
surrounding
Wrong verb form
surrounded
with
Change preposition
by
Correct article usage
a benchs
benchs
. Correct your spelling
benches
bench
Moreover
, in the southeast, the glasshouse had
replaced with Verb problem
was
water
feature.
In the Northeast, the rose plants and Correct article usage
a water
pond
for water plants were converted to Fix the agreement mistake
ponds
cafe
and children's play Fix the agreement mistake
cafes
garden
. The seats in Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
most
every corner had cleared. Correct your spelling
almost
Furthermore
, from the South entrance, in
the left, there was a rose garden but now it Change preposition
on
have
cleared. Change the verb form
has
Also
, the stage for musicians had reconstructured
Add a missing verb
been reconstructured
to
be Amphitheatre for concerts which Change preposition
into
have
increased in size.
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Although
those are many evolutions, there is a field still remain
. Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
For example
, the rose area
next to the theatre still
Add a missing verb
is still
same
throughout the times.Correct article usage
the same
Submitted by innezgracias on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve the logical structure of your essay, consider organizing your ideas more clearly. Start by introducing the topic and overview, followed by separate paragraphs for each time period or type of change. Using clear transition words ('However', 'In addition', 'Furthermore') between paragraphs will help guide the reader through your essay more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clearer overview of the main changes that have occurred in Grange Park. Conclude your essay by summarizing the major developments and perhaps reflecting on the impact these changes have had. This will provide a more satisfying structure for your reader.
Task Achievement
To increase your score in task achievement, make sure that your essay comprehensively covers all key features and changes that the diagrams illustrate. While you have mentioned several changes, a more detailed comparison highlighting all significant developments would enrich your response. Consider using a range of vocabulary to describe the changes, such as 'transformed', 'renovated', or 'modified', to add depth to your analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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