Nowadays, people believe that governments should invest tax-payers money in healthcare, while others believe that money should be used in other areas. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.
Some argue money from taxes should go to
healthcare
while
others would rather it be spent on other sectors of the economy
. I personally think government
spending on healthcare
is as essential as on other areas.
There are certainly many areas of the economy
where government
investment would be pragmatic, and one such
sector is transportation. Transportation is an important catalyst behind economic development. Having improved road infrastructure and air traffic through government
funding – paid for by taxpayers – governments
can facilitate increased trade. Greater exchange of goods and services, in turn, leads to a dynamic economy
. Similarly
, spending on security cannot be overstated in today’s politically unstable world. With growing tensions between countries like Russia and Ukraine and Israel and Palestine as well as
increasing
crime Add an article
the increasing
rate
in Fix the agreement mistake
rates
ever-spwarling
cities, investment in both internal and external security is critical to Correct your spelling
ever-sparkling
ever-sprawling
maintain
peace, which is essential to citizens’ Change the verb form
maintaining
overall
wellbeing
and productivity Correct your spelling
well-being
along with
their immediate safety.
Just as important is government
spending on healthcare
. It is sensible for governments
to invest in healthcare
seeing as the overall
health of a country is another strong predictor of its economic development. More precisely, a healthy population means a healthy workforce, which drives productivity and high economic output in turn. Furthermore
, countries wishing to raise their happiness index also
would find healthcare
a worthy investment. Having made healthcare
accessible and affordable through state subsidies, governments
can provide a
relief to sick-ridden people, which would ultimately contribute to their contentment. An economic boost and a happy nation, in turn, make for a successful country.
In conclusion, no one sector of the Remove the article
apply
economy
is less important than the other as they all have a part in driving a nation
Change noun form
nation's
successful
. Replace the word
success
Hence
, I reckon that it is only prudent if governments
invest equally in all these sectors.Submitted by ina1_95 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear introduction that outlines the key points that will be discussed. While your introduction is present, clarifying the structure of your argument at the beginning can help guide the reader.
Task Achievement
Provide a balanced discussion of both views before concluding with your own perspective. Your essay leans more towards supporting investment in healthcare, which could be balanced with more development of counterarguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a range of linking words and phrases to enhance coherence. While your essay has logical flow, varying your connectives could improve readability and cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a wider variety of sentence structures to demonstrate linguistic flexibility and enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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