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Band 4

Some people think that large, impressive buildings are important for a city. Others believe that the money should be spent on improving schools and hospitals. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #buildings #city #money #schools #hospitals
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the very fast and strong growing global economy is promoting businesses to be established to earn income. Some
people
 think that the income should be invested in hospitals and
schools
 and some individuals think that the
money
 should be invested in high-rise buildings. Many
people
 believe that high-rise building projects are very important for the city because they create eye-catching, majestic features and help the city have perfect beauty thanks to its architecture. Many
people
 who buy apartments will create a large source of income for businesses, helping them become increasingly richer.
For example
, in recent years, land funds in big cities have become increasingly scarce, so they often choose apartments to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
Besides
, some
people
 think that
this
money
 should be invested by the government in
schools
 and hospitals. Because good quality equipment and tools will be provided and improved to support students with a good learning environment and the health care system will be more modern.
For example
,
schools
 will be equipped with more air conditioning so students can stay cool
while
 studying in the summer.
overral
Correct your spelling
Overall
, many
people
 think that big cities should have high-rise buildings,
others
Correct word choice
while others
show examples
 think that the government should invest
money
 in
schools
 and clinics. In my opinion, the government should invest
money
 in high-rise buildings because it will help the country's economy develop.
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coherence cohesion
Try to present a clear introduction that states the topic and your opinion on it. This helps the reader understand your stance from the very beginning.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clear conclusion that summarises the main points of the essay and reiterates your opinion. This helps in making your argument more persuasive.
task achievement
Address the task fully by discussing both views mentioned in the prompt, and clearly state your own opinion. Make sure each view is explored equally for a balanced discussion.
task achievement
Try to include a more detailed explanation of why you support a particular view, including more specific examples. This strengthens your argument.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to ensure your essay is as clear and comprehensible as possible. Minor errors can distract from the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Architectural grandeur
  • Iconic edifices
  • Economic catalyst
  • Cultural landmark
  • Urban fabric
  • Sustainable development
  • Public services
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Community well-being
  • Infrastructure investment
  • Urban planning
  • Holistic approach
  • Government stewardship
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