Some people think that the government is responsible for the rise in childhood obesity. Other people think that childhood obesity is the fault of the parents. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

It is undeniable that childhood plays a crucial role in our lives , and obesity among children has become a global risk. Numerous individuals believe the government is mostly responsible for
this
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issue.
While
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others indicate the parents' fault. From my perspective, I strongly believe both of them are responsible for the generation as result several diseases.
This
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essay will explore both arguments by supporting relevant examples and insights. On the one hand, there is no doubt that society encourages its residents to be healthier. To illustrate more, people always publish posters in public places like hospitals, clinics, and schools to raise awareness about obesity.
Thus
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, students come back to school every Thursday and give us one tip about health.
For example
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, the University of Nizwa in 2020 showed that approximately 85% of Omani children ate from home before going to school. That means rise awareness is an essential task to reduce the phenomenon, which leads to heart disease and surgery.
On the other hand
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, families play a key role in bringing
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problem.
In addition
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, all the members guide the child to eat healthy food , which provides power throughout the day. To demonstrate, my older son usually invites his little brother to have breakfast in the early morning and says that breakfast is a vital meal in giving enough energy to be like Spiderman.
Therefore
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,
this
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is an opportunity to feel relaxed and healthy.
For instance
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, the Canadian Educational Association found that around fifty per cent of children imitate their parents in eating food , which conflicts with the performance of young people and obtain fitness. In conclusion, I am confident that the government and family have the highest responsibility to support young people in reducing their weight.
However
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, I strongly agree with
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situation, as the outcome is not limited only to individuals but
also
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has a profound impact on the community.
As a consequence
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, several services in the country assist the generation to achieve mental and physical health.

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task
Make a clear main idea at the start and keep it in one line.
content
Give one clear point in each body part and add a simple fact or example to back it.
structure
Use small steps to link ideas and make each part easy to follow.
grammar
Check grammar and keep tense and form clear; use simple, plain words.
lexical
Try to use common words from the top 100 list when you can.
content
The essay shows an attempt to talk about both sides and give an view.
structure
There is a beginning and an end.
coherence
Link words like on the one hand and on the other hand are used.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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