IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 0.5

Nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. In your opinion, do you think that research should be carried by private companies, individuals or government? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#research #projects #companies #individuals #government
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Lots of medical research projects are spending the budgets from some private companies
due to
 the developments the entrepreneurs desire in order to make their businesses a better position these days. From my prospect, I strongly agree with the interaction since the
projects'
Change noun form
project's
show examples
 owner should be given the benefits
as
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their attempts.
Submitted by nutthan.aud on

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Task Achievement
To improve your essay, firstly remember to provide a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your opinion on whether medical research should be conducted by private companies, individuals, or the government. This will help clarify the direction of your essay and your stance on the issue.
Task Achievement
Expand on your ideas by providing specific examples and detailed reasoning to support your opinion. This will make your argument more persuasive and comprehensive. Additionally, consider including contrasting viewpoints to present a balanced discussion, before reinforcing your own position.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly by including a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each body paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or explanations. This will vastly improve the logical flow and make your essay easier to follow.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance cohesion within your essay, use transition words and phrases between sentences and paragraphs. This will help connect your ideas more smoothly and make your writing more coherent.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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