At present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
In our
rapidly
world, the Change the adverb
rapid
residence
of some countries a large Replace the word
residents
proportions
of young and adults,Fix the agreement mistake
proportion
this
quantities compare
with Wrong verb form
compared
figure
Add an article
the figure
a figure
of
Change preposition
for
older
population. Add an article
the older
an older
This
two groups produce advantages and in some time disadvantages. In Change the determiner
These
this
essay
I will compare Add a comma
essay,
this
groups and find Correct determiner usage
these
the
main solution Correct word choice
whether the
of
outweighs Change preposition
apply
this
or not.
On the one hard
,Correct your spelling
hand
new
generation Correct article usage
the new
provide
new skills and Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
also
develop
the the difference in Correct subject-verb agreement
develops
knowledges
between Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
two
Correct article usage
the two
generation
. Change to a plural noun
generations
For instance
, the studies in
university Change preposition
at
changed
every year,these Wrong verb form
change
result
can be visible in ordinary life when educators Fix the agreement mistake
results
used
Wrong verb form
use
application
for study and give assignments with Fix the agreement mistake
applications
opportunity
to do Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
this
online. Furthermore
, If compare this
study with older methods,it is clearly seen that young people such
as teenagers and adults have more opportunity
and abilities to attain higher levels of success and education.
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
On the other hand
, older
population have Correct article usage
the older
a unavailable skills
that they achieved Correct the article-noun agreement
unavailable skills
an unavailable skill
by
their experience in lifeChange preposition
through
,
when they did not have any type of gadgets and they Remove the comma
apply
produce
their work and Wrong verb form
produced
study
by themselves. Wrong verb form
studied
For example
, 50 years ago people could achieved
their goals by Change the verb form
achieve
leaned
on their Wrong verb form
leaning
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
,
if they lost the way they could Remove the comma
apply
communicated
with other Change the verb form
communicate
persons
and Replace the word
people
this
method could have helped to have great contributions of communications skills, and also
approach people to make new connections.
To sum up
, in my point of view new
generation Correct article usage
the new
have
a great chance to show the advantages, because of Change the verb form
has
new
system of Add an article
a new
the new
knowledges
and rules in Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
common
world and Correct article usage
the common
also
outweigh the disadvantages of older
population.Add an article
the older
an older
Submitted by batirka06 on
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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and outlines your argument. A concise thesis statement could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs are well-structured, with a clear main idea and cohesive supporting sentences. Transition phrases could improve the flow.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments. These examples give weight to your claims and help the reader understand your point of view better.
task achievement
Address the task directly and make sure to clearly state if the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, providing a balanced discussion and a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and unclear sentences. Clear and correct language use will significantly improve your score.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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