Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, it is increasingly common to find teenagers playing video
games
and watching TV throughout the world.
However
, they can experience negative influences of
this
tedency
Correct your spelling
tendency
in most cases.
That is
why parents should set
limitatiobs
Correct your spelling
limitations
on the hours of their children's
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
as well as
stimulate them to read
books
instead
. On the one hand, more and more youngsters are becoming addicted to wasting most of their precious time
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
unneccery
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
things.
For instance
:
wating
Correct your spelling
watching
waiting
TV and playing different
kind
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kinds
show examples
of
games
,
because of
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apply
show examples
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can cause detrimental effects on their health
such
as mental diseases, shapeless frameworks of their bones, a blood pressure, diminishing memory and
also
eyesight.
Besides
, as they are engaged in doing just like
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
activities, they are seen to lose contact with their family members, relatives and fellows.
This
means that they come across difficulties socializing and making new friends. Another negative impact is that cyber
games
and TV programs can distract youngsters from academic improvement.
As a result
, they may be disappointed with
their
Change the word
the
show examples
results they are achieving. Which definitely
affact
Correct your spelling
affect
affects
the level of happiness and
self-cofidence
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
negatively.
On the other hand
, it is certainly true that reading
books
have
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has
show examples
several benefits for everyone
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
young
people
. The first positive side of reading is that
people
can enhance their reasoning skills and broaden their
horizon
Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
show examples
.
That is
because, the more
books
people
read, the more life experience they
posesess
Correct your spelling
possess
.
According to
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
survey, scientists detected that teenagers who have read a lot of
books
are much more sophisticated and
wisdom
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wise
show examples
than their peers reading
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
noverls
Correct your spelling
novels
.
Moreover
, making a habit of reading
books
can help
people
boost their memory significantly and it can make their time much more productive. In summary, as online
games
are harmful
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
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to
show examples
children's health and development, they had better read a lot of
books
to achieve lifelong goals and make
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
much more meaningful.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure clarity in your introduction by presenting your stance directly. Avoid vague statements.
Task Achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by specific examples or data, to strengthen argumentation.
Coherence & Cohesion
Focus on creating smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs to guide the reader seamlessly through your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
Task Achievement
Avoid overgeneralizations and unsupported claims. Provide evidence or examples to back up your assertions.
General Recommendation
Correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and professionalism.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Screen time
  • Attention span
  • Academic performance
  • Physical exercise
  • Childhood obesity
  • Language skills
  • Creativity
  • Imagination
  • Empathy
  • Educational programs
  • Personal growth
  • Balanced approach
  • Interactive games
  • Media consumption
  • Self-regulation
  • Distractions
  • Technology-enhanced learning
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