Some people say that parents should place restrictions on the hours of their children spend watching TV and playing computer games, and encourage them to spend this time reading books instead. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, it is increasingly common to find teenagers playing video
games
and watching TV throughout the world. However
, they can experience negative influences of this
tedency
in most cases. Correct your spelling
tendency
That is
why parents should set limitatiobs
on the hours of their children's Correct your spelling
limitations
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
as well as
stimulate them to read books
instead
.
On the one hand, more and more youngsters are becoming addicted to wasting most of their precious time to
Change preposition
on
unneccery
things. Correct your spelling
unnecessary
For instance
: wating
TV and playing different Correct your spelling
watching
waiting
kind
of Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
games
, because of
Change preposition
apply
that
Correct word choice
apply
they
can cause detrimental effects on their health Correct pronoun usage
apply
such
as mental diseases, shapeless frameworks of their bones, a blood pressure, diminishing memory and also
eyesight. Besides
, as they are engaged in doing just like that
activities, they are seen to lose contact with their family members, relatives and fellows. Correct determiner usage
apply
This
means that they come across difficulties socializing and making new friends. Another negative impact is that cyber games
and TV programs can distract youngsters from academic improvement. As a result
, they may be disappointed with their
results they are achieving. Which definitely Change the word
the
affact
the level of happiness and Correct your spelling
affect
affects
self-cofidence
negatively.
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
On the other hand
, it is certainly true that reading books
have
several benefits for everyone Correct subject-verb agreement
has
especially
young Add the comma(s)
, especially
people
. The first positive side of reading is that people
can enhance their reasoning skills and broaden their horizon
. Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
That is
because, the more books
people
read, the more life experience they posesess
. Correct your spelling
possess
According to
recent
survey, scientists detected that teenagers who have read a lot of Add an article
a recent
books
are much more sophisticated and wisdom
than their peers reading Replace the word
wise
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
noverls
. Correct your spelling
novels
Moreover
, making a habit of reading books
can help people
boost their memory significantly and it can make their time much more productive.
In summary, as online games
are harmful Change preposition
to
for
children's health and development, they had better read a lot of Change preposition
to
books
to achieve lifelong goals and make their
much more meaningful.Replace the word
they're
they are
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Task Achievement
Ensure clarity in your introduction by presenting your stance directly. Avoid vague statements.
Task Achievement
Develop each paragraph with a single main idea, supported by specific examples or data, to strengthen argumentation.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce each paragraph with a clear topic sentence that summarizes its main idea.
Task Achievement
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General Recommendation
Correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and professionalism.
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