IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

What are the advantages and disadvantages of watching television for children?

#television #children
Today , watching
television
 is common leisure activitg among the
children
. Many
parents
 concern that watching
television
 has positive effects or harmful effects to
children
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both opinions and make a small conclusion.
To begin
 with benefits of watching
television
.
For example
, educational
programs
.
Tv
 has several educational
programs
 for
children
. They can learn languages or increase their knowledge by useful shows like quiz shows.
Also
, they can learn make interesting things by special
programs
 for
children
 that teach making objects
such
 as soft toys. Another benefit is watching
television
 can help families to spend time together. In today's world , many
parents
 are busy with their work , so
children
 can not talk or spend time with their
parents
.
Therefore
 , watching
TV
 can keep them together and gives opportunity
such
 as talking with their
parents
 and
also
 they can discuss
TV
programs
 together. Turning to other side of argument, there are many drawbacks. First of all , it can be harmful to kids' health that brain and eyes. When they spend much time to watching
TV
programs
 , they will start acting like a actors in the fantastic movies or characters in the cartoons. Most likely,it leads to virtual thinking.
Also
 ,watching
TV
 more than the norm leads to a decrease in the vision.
Secondly
, too much
television
 viewing limits physical activity, which is important for
children
's well-being and growing age. Because they forget about training with sport by watching
TV
 and it causes health deterioration. To Sump up , there are both pros and cons of watching
television
. Frankly, it impacts bad affect to
children
's health but mostly it depends on
parents
' control.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Review the essay structure, ensuring a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and supporting sentences.
task achievement
Develop and elaborate on each point more thoroughly. Provide more detailed examples and explanations to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and range of vocabulary. Avoid repetitive phrases and ensure proper use of tenses and prepositions.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the task. Discuss both advantages and disadvantages thoroughly and provide a clear personal opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct spelling and punctuation errors. This will help make your writing more professional and easier to read.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: