Playing computer games only has negative effects on children. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Nowadays video
game
industry is a huge trend, and society
claim
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claims
show examples
that
games
has
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have
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
effect on
children
. I strongly
diasgree
Correct your spelling
disagree
with
this
statement, first of all, because most
of
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apply
show examples
computer
games
have a lot of positive
ascpets
Correct your spelling
aspects
, and can be used to teach
children
using
gamefication
Correct article usage
the gamefication
show examples
factor. There are a lot of computer
games
with
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different genres, which are informative or useful, and the reason for
this
is the fact that people in general
likes
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like
show examples
to play complex
games
. The most popular one is a
game
named Dota, there
is
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are
show examples
even
world wide
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worldwide
show examples
competitions with huge budgets. In
this
game
Add a comma
game,
show examples
players should work in a team and create a strategy considering different characters and their abilities.
In addition
,
while
playing user should always be engaged
into
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in
show examples
the
game
and have fast reflexes to rapidly react.
Furthermore
,
studying
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the studying
show examples
process can be turned into a
game
. There is
such
a
termin
Correct your spelling
term
as a
gamefication
Correct your spelling
gamification
which is used in different
spehers
Correct your spelling
spheres
to attract and motivate people to action. That tool may be used to teach
children
fundamental
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
show examples
in almost every field.
For instance
,
studying
Rephrase
when studying
show examples
languages
while
playing, to complete a level
children
should do a task,
after
Correct word choice
and after
show examples
that they would receive points.
Therefore
,
children
would study and at the same time have fun from
entertainment
Correct article usage
the entertainment
show examples
part of the
game
. There
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
a lot of
games
that are informative, and more can be created to serve educational purposes
,
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apply
show examples
because video
games
just
Add a missing verb
are just
show examples
an instrument that can be used rightly by people. I strongly disagree with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
statement that all computer
games
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
just drawbacks and negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
children
.
Submitted by dyussenovaanel on

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Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure you thoroughly address the question prompt by providing a balanced view if the essay asks for it. Although you clearly disagreed with the statement, adding a brief acknowledgement of possible disadvantages before refuting them would enhance your argument's persuasiveness and completeness.
Coherence and Cohesion
To strengthen Coherence and Cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically by using clearer topic sentences that directly relate to the thesis. This approach helps the reader understand the main point of each paragraph before delving into details. Additionally, employ a wider variety of linking phrases to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider revising your introduction and conclusion for a stronger impact. Begin with a more engaging hook and clearly state your thesis in the introduction. In the conclusion, succinctly summarize your main points and restate your position, providing a clear resolution to the argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • strategic thinking
  • spatial awareness
  • hand-eye coordination
  • reaction times
  • social isolation
  • detrimental effects
  • behavior and attitude
  • multiplayer and online games
  • fostering
  • addiction
  • obesity
  • eyestrain
  • prolonged screen time
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