What are the advantages and disadvantages for children of watching television?

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Nowadays,
TV
can be a pretty amazing tool for helping kids unlock their full potential. There are some bad effects of watching too much
TV
,
however
. In
this
essay, I will look at both sides and try to draw some conclusions.
Lets
Replace the word
Let's
Let us
show examples
begin by looking at the advantages. Not all
TV
channels are made with entertainment in mind, some are purpose to educate.
Children
can learn a lot from watching educational
TV
. Turning on a channel «Disney»
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
way to familiarize
children
with basic ideas
as well as
wildlife documentaries like « Discovery» can introduce
children
to the wonders of the natural world
in addition
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
children
can
also
improve their linguistic ability as well raise their vocabulary. Turning to the other side artificial light from
TV
negatively affects sleep just like phones and tablets. Spending hours sitting in front of the screen is the key factor contributing to poor health. In spite of there
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
many
TV
channels and shows created for
children
in mind, there are just as many
TV
channels and shows for older age persons.
In addition
to
the
Correct your spelling
this
show examples
fact, some
children
copy the actions from
movie
Add an article
the movie
a movie
show examples
. In conclusion, parents should be careful with their
children
's
TV
viewing habits.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structure with distinct paragraphs. Begin with an introduction, follow with body paragraphs for each point, and conclude. Use transition words to link ideas and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments with more detailed examples and explanations. Consider discussing how educational programs can impact children's cognitive and social development.
language
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and enhance readability. Consider varying sentence structure and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, make sure each paragraph focuses on one main idea. Use topic sentences to introduce the paragraph's subject and concluding sentences to reinforce it.
task achievement
Fully address the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages in balanced detail. Ensure that you not only list points but also explain their importance and potential impact on children.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary
  • engaging
  • linguistic skills
  • exposure
  • inappropriate content
  • distort
  • optimizing
  • debate
  • implications
  • viewing habits
  • parental guidance
  • educational programs
  • screen time
  • stereotypes
  • unhealthy behaviors
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