You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her.

#friend #advice #college #job #•say #•explain #idea #•suggest

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Dear Mike, I am writing to give you some useful information that will have an effect on your decision. Actually, choosing to study in

college

or work somewhere only depends on your interests.

In other words

, it is connected with

your

Change the pronoun

the

show examples

goals that you put in front of your life.

While

other people think that

college's

Change noun form

college

show examples

knowledge will be useful for many jobs, I can't agree with their opinion. Because attending

college

lessons isn't affected,

such

as university lessons. And

also

, most colleges

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

located in our country haven't got

Correct your spelling

show examples

many facilities as you want.

Furthermore

, you can find a

wellpaid

Correct your spelling

well-paid

well paid

job

without a

college

diploma, except

Change preposition

for a

show examples

university's

Change noun form

university

show examples

diploma. Actually, a diploma

was

Wrong verb form

show examples

an important document for

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

with a good salary. But it is possible to find work to do without it. Nowadays, companies need professional employees. So, they take young people as employees who have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

experience of the

job

that they suggest for their company.

Additionally

, today's century demands professional

programmes

Correct your spelling

programmers

show examples

who know computers. And I completely suggest that IT do the best

job

for you. Because you can work easily with new technology skills. If you take some courses to learn

make

Correct word choice

and make

show examples

new programmes, you will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

experiment with your knowledge. If you need other information or want to ask some questions, you can contact me on my mobile phone, which is: 103847492 I look forward to hearing from you soon!

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

sincerely, Nozigul

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Thu Mar 14 2024

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task response

The letter briefly touches on the reasons for not enjoying college and why getting a job could be beneficial, but it lacks detailed personalization to the friend's situation. Expand on how these reasons specifically apply to your friend's interests and current situation.

coherence and cohesion

The letter jumps between ideas without fully developing each one. Spend more time expanding on each point with examples or more detailed explanations to make your argument clearer.

tone

You've maintained a friendly and approachable tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for writing to a friend. To make it even more effective, integrate more personal anecdotes or reasons that directly relate to your friend's life. It will make your advice seem more tailored and thoughtful.

logical structure

Consider organizing the letter into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to either discussing college, the benefits of working, or suggesting job types. This will improve readability and the logical flow of ideas.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

9 paragraphs

241 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

theoretical nature
real-world experience
practical experience
professional network
financial independence
dynamic
on-the-job learning
creative industries
customer service
sectors
suitable

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