You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter •say why he/she would not enjoy going to college. •explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her. •suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her.

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Dear Mike, I am writing to give you some useful information that will have an effect on your decision. Actually, choosing to study in
college
or work somewhere only depends on your interests.
In other words
, it is connected with
your
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
goals that you put in front of your life.  
While
other people think that
college's
Change noun form
college
show examples
knowledge will be useful for many jobs, I can't agree with their opinion. Because attending
college
lessons isn't affected,
such
as university lessons. And
also
, most colleges
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
located in our country haven't got
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
many facilities as you want.
Furthermore
, you can find a
wellpaid
Correct your spelling
well-paid
well paid
job
without a
college
diploma, except
a
Change preposition
for a
show examples
university's
Change noun form
university
show examples
diploma. Actually, a diploma
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
an important document for
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
with a good salary. But it is possible to find work to do without it. Nowadays, companies need professional employees. So, they take young people as employees who have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience of the
job
that they suggest for their company.  
Additionally
, today's century demands professional
programmes
Correct your spelling
programmers
show examples
who know computers. And I completely suggest that IT do the best
job
for you. Because you can work easily with new technology skills. If you take some courses to learn
make
Correct word choice
and make
show examples
new programmes, you will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
experiment with your knowledge.   If you need other information or want to ask some questions, you can contact me on my mobile phone, which is: 103847492   I look forward to hearing from you soon!  
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
sincerely,  Nozigul
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task response
The letter briefly touches on the reasons for not enjoying college and why getting a job could be beneficial, but it lacks detailed personalization to the friend's situation. Expand on how these reasons specifically apply to your friend's interests and current situation.
coherence and cohesion
The letter jumps between ideas without fully developing each one. Spend more time expanding on each point with examples or more detailed explanations to make your argument clearer.
tone
You've maintained a friendly and approachable tone throughout the letter, which is appropriate for writing to a friend. To make it even more effective, integrate more personal anecdotes or reasons that directly relate to your friend's life. It will make your advice seem more tailored and thoughtful.
logical structure
Consider organizing the letter into clear paragraphs, each dedicated to either discussing college, the benefits of working, or suggesting job types. This will improve readability and the logical flow of ideas.

Structure your letter

A letter needs to be written using a proper format, including the following:

  • A greeting (Dear sir/madam, Dear John, Dear Mr. Smith)
  • The main body (consisting of paragraphs for each part of the letter)
  • A closing (Yours sincerely, Yours faithfully, Best wishes, Kind regards, Love)

When writing a letter as part of the IELTS General Training Writing Task 1, it is important to include the bullet points presented to you in the question.

All three bullet points need to be presented. And remember that some bullet points contain more than one element. So, make sure to watch for ‘and’ and plurals.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical nature
  • real-world experience
  • practical experience
  • professional network
  • financial independence
  • dynamic
  • on-the-job learning
  • creative industries
  • customer service
  • sectors
  • suitable
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