Celebrities play an important social role in the community. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity?

#celebrities #role #community #celebrity

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There is no denying the fact that

celebriries

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celebrities

have

becomes

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become

show examples

significant

Correct article usage

a significant

show examples

impact

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show examples

our community whether positive or negative.

While

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it is a commonly held belief famous

people

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have

widespreade

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widespread

effectiveness in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

socity

Correct your spelling

society

in many aspects,there is

also

Linking Words

an argument that being famous

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

certain

disadvantage

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disadvantages

show examples

that can affect

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apply

show examples

their

live

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lives

show examples

in many ways.

This

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essay will analyse

this

Linking Words

topic from both

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apply

show examples

points of view and express my opinion. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

show examples

hand,there are several advantages when you

becomes

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become

show examples

famous

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

a sponser

show examples

sponser

Correct your spelling

sponsor

contract, money and power through a good relationship with important

people

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in the government.

In other words

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,It is really

conveniant

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convenient

make

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to make

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

huge money when

become

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becoming

show examples

famous as many

compaines

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companies

rely on those

people

Use synonyms

advert

Wrong verb form

advertise

show examples

their

product

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products

show examples

Linking Words

addition

Add a comma

addition,

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there are

feature

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features

show examples

for celebrities more than ordinary

people

Use synonyms

which

mean

Correct subject-verb agreement

means

show examples

they can get free

ticket

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tickets

show examples

to travel or have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lunch in a fancy restaurant.

For example

Linking Words

,many

people

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media claim if had

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

like celebrities they would be happy. On

other

Correct article usage

the other

show examples

hand,

nowadyes

Correct your spelling

nowadays

most

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apply

show examples

celebrities

suffering

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suffer

show examples

in order to

had

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have

show examples

private

Correct article usage

a private

show examples

lifestyle because the fans always run after them.It is

also

Linking Words

possible the press release fake news to destroy their reputation through bad news and

picturs

Correct your spelling

pictures

Moreover

Linking Words

,flok

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

been

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

always

critisem

Correct your spelling

criticised

criticise

criticism

those

people

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social media and

offienseiv

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offensive

them that can affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

in a

negtive

Correct your spelling

negative

way.

For instance

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According to

Linking Words

recent

Add an article

a recent

show examples

study

Add a comma

study,

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

famous

people

Use synonyms

are depressed and suffering

with

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from

show examples

mental issues. In conclusion,There are no easy answers to

this

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question.On balance,

however

Linking Words

Change the capitalization

show examples

tend to believe that being famous has become

common

Add an article

a common

show examples

trend these days and it is good to be famous to improve your

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

earn

Wrong verb form

earning

show examples

more money but, you have

also

Linking Words

consider

Fix the infinitive

to consider

show examples

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

consequinses

Correct your spelling

consequences

it might

happend

Correct your spelling

happen

happened

to like as

Change the capitalization

show examples

mentions

Wrong verb form

mentioned

show examples

before.

Submitted by ahmad.a07 on Thu Mar 14 2024

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Task Achievement

Develop Paragraphs Fully: While your essay includes advantages and disadvantages, each point could be further developed with more specific examples and explanations. Try to delve deeper into each point to fully explore its implications and add richness to your arguments.

Task Achievement

Use a Range of Sentence Structures: Your essay shows some variety in sentence structures, but it could benefit from greater complexity and variety. Practicing complex and compound sentences can make your writing more engaging and demonstrate higher language proficiency.

Coherence and Cohesion

Carefully Proofread for Spelling and Grammar Mistakes: There are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes throughout your essay. These detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. A thorough proofread and edit can significantly improve your score.

Coherence and Cohesion

Strengthen Transitions Between Ideas: While you have attempted to order your ideas logically, the transitions between them can be improved. Using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' and 'As a result' can help make your argument flow more smoothly and logically.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
62
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

293 words

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Celebrities play an important social role in the community. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

You visited a hotel last week and left some items behind. Write a letter to the manager stating 1. Details of your stay 2. How important the items are to you 3. How you would want the items to the sent to you

Some people say it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Shops should not be allowed to sell food and drinks tha are scientifically proven to be bad for people's health. To what extend do you agree or disagree?