Celebrities play an important social role in the community. What are the advantages and disadvantages of being a celebrity?
There is no denying the fact that
celebriries
have Correct your spelling
celebrities
becomes
Change the verb form
become
significant
impact Correct article usage
a significant
in
our community whether positive or negative.Change preposition
on
While
it is a commonly held belief famous people
have widespreade
effectiveness in Correct your spelling
widespread
the
Correct article usage
apply
socity
in many aspects,there is Correct your spelling
society
also
an argument that being famous have
certain Correct subject-verb agreement
has
disadvantage
that can affect Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
in
their Change preposition
apply
live
in many ways.
Replace the word
lives
This
essay will analyse this
topic from both of
points of view and express my opinion.
On Change preposition
apply
one
hand,there are several advantages when you Correct article usage
the one
becomes
famous Change the verb form
become
such
as,
Remove the comma
apply
Correct article usage
a sponser
sponser
contract, money and power through a good relationship with important Correct your spelling
sponsor
people
in the government.In other words
,It is really conveniant
Correct your spelling
convenient
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
a
huge money when Remove the article
apply
become
famous as many Wrong verb form
becoming
compaines
rely on those Correct your spelling
companies
people
to advert
their Wrong verb form
advertise
product
.Fix the agreement mistake
products
In
addition
there are Add a comma
addition,
feature
for celebrities more than ordinary Fix the agreement mistake
features
people
which mean
they can get free Correct subject-verb agreement
means
ticket
to travel or have Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
a
lunch in a fancy restaurant.Correct article usage
apply
For example
,many people
in
Change preposition
on
the
social media claim if had Correct article usage
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
live
like celebrities they would be happy.
On Replace the word
lives
other
hand,Correct article usage
the other
nowadyes
most Correct your spelling
nowadays
of
celebrities Change preposition
apply
suffering
in order to Wrong verb form
suffer
had
Change the verb
have
private
lifestyle because the fans always run after them.It is Correct article usage
a private
also
possible the press release fake news to destroy their reputation through bad news and picturs
.Correct your spelling
pictures
Moreover
,flok have
Change the verb form
has
been
always Unnecessary verb
apply
critisem
those Correct your spelling
criticised
criticise
criticism
people
on the
social media and Correct article usage
apply
offienseiv
them that can affect Correct your spelling
offensive
in
their Change preposition
apply
live
in a Replace the word
lives
negtive
way.Correct your spelling
negative
For instance
,According to
recent
Add an article
a recent
study
most Add a comma
study,
of
famous Change preposition
apply
people
are depressed and suffering with
mental issues.
In conclusion,There are no easy answers to Change preposition
from
this
question.On balance,however
,i
tend to believe that being famous has become Change the capitalization
I
common
trend these days and it is good to be famous to improve your Add an article
a common
live
by Replace the word
life
earn
more money but, you have Wrong verb form
earning
also
consider
Fix the infinitive
to consider
about
the Change preposition
apply
consequinses
it might Correct your spelling
consequences
happend
to like as Correct your spelling
happen
happened
i
Change the capitalization
I
mentions
before.Wrong verb form
mentioned
Submitted by ahmad.a07 on
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Task Achievement
Develop Paragraphs Fully: While your essay includes advantages and disadvantages, each point could be further developed with more specific examples and explanations. Try to delve deeper into each point to fully explore its implications and add richness to your arguments.
Task Achievement
Use a Range of Sentence Structures: Your essay shows some variety in sentence structures, but it could benefit from greater complexity and variety. Practicing complex and compound sentences can make your writing more engaging and demonstrate higher language proficiency.
Coherence and Cohesion
Carefully Proofread for Spelling and Grammar Mistakes: There are quite a few spelling and grammar mistakes throughout your essay. These detract from the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing. A thorough proofread and edit can significantly improve your score.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strengthen Transitions Between Ideas: While you have attempted to order your ideas logically, the transitions between them can be improved. Using transitional phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the contrary,' and 'As a result' can help make your argument flow more smoothly and logically.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example