Some people thinks that certain prisoners should be made to do unpaid community work instead of being put behind bars. To what extent do you agree.

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With the rising rates of
crime
in today's contemporary era, people have diverse
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
over handling accused and guilty
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
of a particular
crime
. Proponents believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
prisoners are not safe for the community if they come outside the prison.
Hence
they should remain locked in
prision
Correct your spelling
prison
.
However
, advocates for human rights and humanity
thinks
Correct subject-verb agreement
think
show examples
that they should get a second chance depending on the seriousness of the
crime
.
This
essay will discuss both viewpoints.
To begin
with, society is often afraid of having a guilty
person
around them and
saftey
Correct your spelling
safety
is
utmost
Add an article
the utmost
an utmost
show examples
priority for them.
Due to
that, they think it is not safe for the families, and especially for
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
. Having
alleged
Correct article usage
an alleged
show examples
person
or criminal freely roam around in the neighbourhood can potentially harm
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other people.
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
makes people mentally
omnious
Correct your spelling
ominous
and always worried about
individual's
Change noun form
individual
show examples
protection with possible threats by
Add an article
the prisoner
a prisoner
show examples
prisoner
Fix the agreement mistake
prisoners
show examples
.
On the other hand
, many folks are willing to give a second chance to the prisoners. They
thinks
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think
show examples
that minor
mistakes
and crimes should not be handled by putting accused behind the bars. As it can lead to mental breakdown,
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
, depression, and anxiety to them. To avoid these, we should always consider the factor of humanity and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should take necessary steps to help them in clearing terrible
mistakes
they have made in past. For minor
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
crime
Add a comma
crime,
show examples
we administration should tackle
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
by assigning community work. By that, it is indirectly helping
accused
Correct article usage
the accused
show examples
to
becomes
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
kind hearted
Add a hyphen
kind-hearted
show examples
person
and never step into the world of
crime
again.
Example
Correct article usage
An example
show examples
of
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
mistakes
Fix the agreement mistake
mistake
show examples
would be, somebody
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
stealing food to feed their family as they are below
poverty
Add an article
the poverty
show examples
line and cannot
afford
Correct pronoun usage
afford it
show examples
. In conclusion, I believe that, with careful consideration of
negligable
Correct your spelling
negligible
crimes, some of the guilty accused should be given
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
to clear
their
Change the word
the
show examples
mistakes
they have
done
Verb problem
made
show examples
in past.
Submitted by jimipatel707 on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task response, it's crucial to directly address the essay prompt by clearly stating your position on the issue. Ensure your introduction includes a thesis statement that reflects your stance. Strengthen your argument by developing well-rounded discussions in your body paragraphs, directly relating them to the question asked.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a more structured and logical flow of ideas. Begin with a clear topic sentence in each body paragraph, followed by specific examples and a concluding sentence that ties the paragraph's main idea back to your overall argument. Use transitional phrases to link your ideas smoothly and maintain a coherent thread throughout your essay.
Task Achievement
In your essay, while you've included relevant examples, aim for more specificity and detail to deeply illustrate your points. Utilize real-world scenarios or hypothetical situations that directly support your argument, making sure they clearly align with the topic at hand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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