IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history oft h e house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

#countries #people #history #h #e #house #research
In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contemporary
society
Add a comma
society,
show examples
 there are increasing concerns or interests regarding exploring the
history
 of
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
 where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
.
This
 essay will
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
 the factors and the roots of
such
situation
Correct article usage
a situation
show examples
. On one hand, there are
pethora
Correct your spelling
plethora
 of factors behind
this
 case, and the prominent one is the nature of curiosity of human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
,
coupled with
 the inspirations of artistic works and
interesting
Replace the word
interest
show examples
 in
aventure
Correct your spelling
adventure
, all of them push
habitants
Correct your spelling
habitats
show examples
 to look for the
history
 of their dwellings, especially for those who live in
rural
Add an article
a rural
show examples
 area, where are fulfilled with a variety of secrets and
legency
Correct your spelling
legends
elegance
legacy
.
For instance
, one memory that the majority
children
Change preposition
of children
show examples
 can not forget is falling into sleep with the stories related to the
fantasties
Correct your spelling
fantasies
fantastic
Correct pronoun usage
that occured
show examples
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 in a house or a castle.
Accordingly
,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 curiosity
to
Change preposition
about
show examples
history
 had
rooted
Add a missing verb
been rooted
show examples
 in their mind since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
childhood.
On the other hand
, as can be seen, a
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of
accient
Correct your spelling
ancient
 pieces have
recentely
Correct your spelling
recently
 been found and
digged
Correct your spelling
dug
show examples
 out from the private residence.
For instance
, the Sanxing
ancients
Fix the agreement mistake
ancient
show examples
 remains have been found in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 garden of Mr. Alexander, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
due
Add a missing verb
is due
show examples
 to
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 occasional decoration of
inmobility
Correct your spelling
immobility
in mobility
, in
this
 way a worldwide master
history
 was exploited
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
pubic
Correct your spelling
public
show examples
 view.
Follwed
Correct your spelling
Followed
 by
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 notices, a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of individuals
taked
Correct your spelling
took
show examples
 part
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 movement of Looking for the
History
 of My Vivenda with the inspiration of finding something valuable. Upon initial observation, a single
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 can be attributed to a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of reasons and factors, and in my perspective,
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
curiosity and interest constitute
Correct article usage
the
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 first step of progress,
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fellow research is
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
paramount in
Wrong verb form
revealing
show examples
reveal
Wrong verb form
revealing
show examples
 the secret or something unknown
Submitted by futaommy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to structure your essay. You should aim for a clear introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a distinct factor or detail, and a conclusion that summarizes your points.
coherence cohesion
Remember to introduce your essay with a sentence that clearly states the purpose or main argument. End the essay with a conclusion that summarizes the discussion and reiterates the main points or stance.
task achievement
Provide clear examples to support each point you make. Your examples should be detailed and relevant to the topic being discussed.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, as errors can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to follow.
task achievement
Consider including a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: