IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development #minutes
In contemporary times, technological advancements have enabled many adults to
work
 from
home
,
while
 an increasing number of children are
also
 receiving their education remotely.
This
 shift towards remote
work
 and study offers both advantages and disadvantages
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and in
this
 essay, I will argue that the
benefits
 outweigh the drawbacks. Working from
home
 provides several
benefits
, particularly for parents,
such
 as the ability to balance
work
 and family responsibilities.
For instance
, mothers can supervise their children's activities
while
 attending to their professional duties.
Additionally
, remote
work
 reduces commuting time and traffic congestion, leading to environmental
benefits
 and cost savings for individuals and companies alike.
However
, there are drawbacks to consider. One disadvantage is the potential for social isolation, as remote workers may have limited interaction with colleagues and friends.
This
 lack of social connection can lead to feelings of loneliness and stress.
Furthermore
, children who study from
home
 may miss out on valuable social interactions and opportunities for personal development that occur in a traditional classroom setting. In conclusion,
while
 remote
work
 and study offer convenience and flexibility, they
also
 pose challenges
such
 as social isolation and limited opportunities for interpersonal growth.
Nonetheless
, the
benefits
 of working and studying from
home
, including
work
-life balance and reduced environmental impact, outweigh these drawbacks.
Therefore
, I believe
this
 trend represents a positive development in today's society.
Submitted by innezgracias on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. An effective way to achieve this is by planning your essay before you start writing. Focus on one idea per paragraph and use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include an introduction that clearly states your position on the topic and a conclusion that summarises your main points and restates your position. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more detailed examples drawn from your own knowledge or experience. The use of specific, relevant examples strengthens your argument and makes your writing more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: