IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At some locations an increase in the production of consumer good results in damage of our natural environment. What are the causes and solution ?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In contemporary times, effects of the
consumer
Use synonyms
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the crucial topics in many countries,
while
Linking Words
consumer
Use synonyms
 productions provide necessities in communities and have an attachment with people. There are lots of discussions about its results
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 adverse effects
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
environmental
Replace the word
environment
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 will
be described
Wrong verb form
describe
show examples
 the point of view about the root causes and the approaches to
solve
Correct pronoun usage
solve them
show examples
. On the one hand, there are many kinds of goods
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
 a primary role in
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
 daily lives for
examples
Fix the agreement mistake
example
show examples
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
. Many packages of foods
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 plastics which
causing
Wrong verb form
causes
show examples
 damage
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 water and soil because
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 elements and chemical
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 are difficult to destroy.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
globalization provides technological advancements in electricity
productions
Fix the agreement mistake
production
show examples
such
Linking Words
refrigerators
Change preposition
as refrigerators
show examples
, televisions, and
gadgets
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 affordable
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, people
could be changed
Wrong verb form
can change
show examples
 their
gadgets
Use synonyms
 with ease when they feel bored because
gadgets
Use synonyms
 have developed rapidly.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, there are some recommendations to anticipate
this
Linking Words
 fact. Authors have a crucial role
to anticipate
Change preposition
in anticipating
show examples
 the
nature
Replace the word
natural
show examples
 damages by producing regulations
such
Linking Words
 as
consumer
Use synonyms
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 companies should
have
Verb problem
be
show examples
 responsible
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 nature and
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
products
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, using environmentally friendly packages.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Companies should consider
to produce
Change the verb form
producing
show examples
 their
products
Use synonyms
 with recycling ability.
Consequently
Linking Words
, all
gadgets
Use synonyms
 or electronics should not be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste
Replace the word
wasted
show examples
Linking Words
whereas
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 could be recycled
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
 new
products
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, there are many reasons why
consumer
Use synonyms
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 can damage the earth
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
 the increased number of plastics and electronics waste.
However
Linking Words
, the governments have a vital role
to solve
Change preposition
in solving
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem by making strict regulations for companies
such
Linking Words
 as using friendly packages and the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
in recycling
Change preposition
to recycle
show examples
 the
products
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Consider spending more time outlining specific causes and solutions in a more detailed manner. Your essay would benefit from clearer and more detailed examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, strive for a more logical organization of ideas and paragraphs. Using a wider range of linking words can help improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea that is fully developed will enhance the coherence of your essay.
logical structure
To enhance logical structure, each paragraph should clearly correspond to a single main idea or aspect of the topic. Work on creating a more defined narrative flow from introduction to conclusion, ensuring each paragraph builds upon the last towards a cohesive argument.
introduction conclusion present
While your introduction and conclusion are present, strive for more impactful statements. Your introduction could provide a clearer overview of the essay topics and your stance, while your conclusion should more effectively summarize the main points discussed and restate your overarching argument.
supported main points
In terms of supporting your main points, aim to develop your arguments with more varied and detailed examples. Connect these examples directly to the question to demonstrate how they effectively address the task requirements.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: