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Band 3.5

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays​ ​than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #nowadays​ #​than #development
Nowadays, more and more
people
 like their family, but
prefering
Correct your spelling
preferring
 to live alone
instends
Correct your spelling
intends
instead
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 living with family. I
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
 it has some benefits and drawbacks
what
Correct word choice
because
show examples
people
 need space with themself, but there are
also
 some safety considering . In
the
Change the article
a
show examples
 positive way, it can reduce
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 with family if living alone. There are lot of news about children
fight
Wrong verb form
fighting
show examples
 or
kill
Wrong verb form
killing
show examples
 their parents,
due to
 parents
didn't
Verb problem
not
show examples
respect
Wrong verb form
respecting
show examples
 their personal space or
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to control their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Aslo
Correct your spelling
Also
, everyone has their different habits and
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
show examples
. Children have their living habits
during
Correct word choice
as
show examples
 they grow up which may be
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 as other family members, but
also
 may be quite different.
On the other hand
, living alone may
faces
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
 some safety issues. There are some news has shown elder
people
 who live alone
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
discoverd
Correct your spelling
discovered
 after they had died
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 months. Especially, many diseases happen suddenly in winter. They will not be found out instantly, and
lost
Wrong verb form
lose
show examples
 the
chanse
Correct your spelling
chance
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help.
In addition
, living alone reduces the
opptunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to make conversations with other
people
. Many more
people
affraid
Correct your spelling
are afraid
 to speak with
anothers
Correct your spelling
others
 in
this
morden
Correct your spelling
modern
 life
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because they work from home and live alone. It may cause
people
become
Add the particle
to become
show examples
 selfish in future. In conclusion, living alone can enjoy the "me-time" and reduce stress from social. But it
also
 may
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 you feel lonely and helpless when you need
some one
Correct your spelling
someone
show examples
 to chat
or
Change preposition
with or
show examples
 give you some
suggetion
Correct your spelling
suggestion
suggestions
.
Submitted by fran60825 on

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Task Response
To improve the task response, ensure that your essay directly addresses the question posed, making clear whether you see the trend of living alone as positive or negative. Providing a more balanced view with direct statements can enhance the clarity of your position.
Coherence and Cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body (each with a clear main idea), and conclusion. Use linking phrases effectively to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Achievement
To support your main points more effectively, incorporate detailed examples or evidence that directly relate to the advantages and disadvantages of living alone. Make sure these examples specifically support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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