The diagram below shows the process of recycling aluminium drink cans.

The diagram below shows the process of recycling aluminium drink cans.
The chart illustrates the different steps involved in the process of recycling aluminium drink
cans
.
Overall
, a total of 11 stages are shown in
this
recycling process, from the delivery of used
cans
to the recycling plant to the production of new recycled
cans
, taking a total of 6 weeks from start to finish.
First,
the recycled
cans
are collected and transported by trucks and
then
deposited at the recycling factory.
Next,
the
cans
are washed before they are crushed at the next stage.
Subsequently
, the process continues in the factory, including the use of chemicals to erase designs.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
the seventh stage, the crushed
cans
are heated and are
then
shaped in a mould to ensure they are a uniform size.
Next,
the moulded
cans
are checked so that they are all the same weight before they pass through a rolling machine.
Finally
, after rolling, new recycled
cans
are produced and ready for use again.
Submitted by thaovuphuong19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, ".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words cans with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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