In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the country side is decreasing. Do you think this a positive or negative development.
In many parts of the globe, there is a noticeable increase in rural
migration
to urban areas, which has resulted to
a decrease Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
in
population
in local places. This
essay will discuss both positive and negative aspects and my opinion.
On the one hand, the positive side of migration
is that it reduces poverty
rate
and promotes healthy living. Firstly
, there
Correct pronoun usage
this
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
rate
because people who migrate leave their jobs vacant and so, this
creates job Correct word choice
and this
opportunity
for the unemployed thereby reducing Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
rate
as well as
poverty
Correct article usage
the poverty
rate
. In addition
decline in unemployment
Add an article
the unemployment
rate
also
drops come rate
as individuals are no longer idle and jobless. Secondly
, less population
promote healthy living. So, when there is a fall in population
size, it results to
, less pollution Change preposition
in
such
as overcrowding
, noise pollution and even air pollution from exhaust pipes of cars and these are all beneficial to the health of the citizens.
On the other hand
, one of the negative aspects of this
,
is poor socio-economic development. Remove the comma
apply
Due to
migration
to the city
there is Add a comma
city,
decrease
in manpower in the local places. As Add an article
a decrease
the decrease
such
, few
workers equals less produce, businesses Replace the word
fewer
also
have less
buyers all of Change the quantifier
fewer
this
results Correct pronoun usage
which
to
Change preposition
in
a
low economic growth.
In conclusion, despite the negative sides of Remove the article
apply
migration
. In my opinion, this
is a positive development as it reduces over
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
population
and poverty
.Submitted by Emmanuelodachi on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear structure. Introduce your topic clearly, have separate paragraphs for different ideas, and a strong conclusion. Use linking words to connect ideas and paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas and support them with detailed examples or evidence. Avoid general statements.
Task Achievement
Fully address the essay prompt. Make sure to clearly state your opinion and explain both the positive and negative aspects as the question demands.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express your ideas more clearly and effectively. Avoid repetition of words and phrases.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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