Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

Children

Use synonyms

are the buds of each and every nation. Some

parents

Use synonyms

are worried

Change preposition

about

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

entertain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

leisure

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as TV, video games and other

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

due to

Linking Words

increasing levels of violence.

This

Linking Words

affects offspring in negative ways and

Use synonyms

parents

Replace the word

parental

show examples

control is the appropriate method to tackle

this

Linking Words

issue. A

further

Linking Words

explanation will be presented in

this

Linking Words

essay. To commence with, these days, all entertainment

activities

Use synonyms

are contained

Wrong verb form

contain

show examples

plenty of violence,

Use synonyms

children

Correct word choice

and children

show examples

have

any

Correct determiner usage

show examples

other

choices

Fix the agreement mistake

choice

show examples

to watch and play

Linking Words

besides

Replace the word

beside

show examples

these adverse

ertainment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

activities

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, video games always stimulate

voilence

Correct your spelling

violent

activities

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

toddlers

consequently

Linking Words

, they may face court in childhood because of doing any crime. To be more precise, all movies and

sexies

Correct your spelling

series

contain adult

scences

Correct your spelling

scenes

sciences

, so kids might

affect

Wrong verb form

be affected

show examples

negatively and they have more anger mood in

these day

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

because of watching

voilence

Correct your spelling

violence

violent

content

Use synonyms

Change preposition

show examples

a regular basis. Needless to say, Increasing the

voilent

Correct your spelling

volume

- based on

content

Use synonyms

can

brings

Wrong verb form

bring

show examples

negative

along with

Linking Words

adverse

effect

Fix the agreement mistake

effects

show examples

offsprings

Fix the agreement mistake

offspring

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

parent's

Fix the agreement mistake

parents'

show examples

control and supervision can only tackle

this

Linking Words

issue because

child

Add an article

the child

a child

show examples

has no other choices to get entertainment

unless

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

, so

parents

Use synonyms

should

moniter

Correct your spelling

monitor

Change preposition

whether

show examples

their little ones

wheather

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

watch and use

violence-based

Correct your spelling

violence based

show examples

on the

content

Use synonyms

for

children

Use synonyms

content

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, Netflix provides options

Change preposition

for

show examples

parental Controls, so

parents

Use synonyms

only decide

their

Change preposition

on their

show examples

children

Use synonyms

's watch shows and Series.

In other words

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

should analyse

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their toddler's behaviour and attitude after watching any series.

Hence

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are the only solution to prevent kids from watching and using

voilent

Correct your spelling

violent

content

Use synonyms

entertaiments

Correct your spelling

entertainment

entertainments

. In conclusion, watching

Voilent-based

Replace the word

violence based

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment causes adverse effects

Change preposition

show examples

toddlers namely Crime but

Use synonyms

parents

Change noun form

parents'

parent's

show examples

control, Supervision and

analyse

Replace the word

analysis

show examples

can tackle

this

Linking Words

issue.

reanudeepan

Mar 15, 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Provide a clearer structure to your essay by logically organizing your ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear main idea. This will enhance both coherence and cohesion of your text.

Task Achievement

Introduce your essay with a clearer thesis statement that outlines the specific aspects you will discuss. This helps in achieving a better task response score.

Task Achievement

Use relevant examples to support your points more effectively. These examples should be specific and directly related to the points you are making, which will strengthen your arguments and improve task achievement.

Language Proficiency

Work on your spelling, grammar, and vocabulary. Errors in these areas can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your essay. For instance, watch out for typos like 'voilence' (violence), 'sexies' (series), and ensure correct use of plural forms and verb tenses.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

274 words

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Some parents are worried about increasing levels of violence in TV,Video games and other entertainments for Children's leisure. how does this affects the children? how do you think this can be tackled?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Recycling is the solution to our environment problem. Do you agree or disagree? Support your answer with details and examples .

You have had your computer repaired by your local computer supplier. You were extremely impressed with the service. Write a letter to the manager of the shop. Describe what happened when you call the shop. Praised the staff who helped you and ask the manager to thank those concerned.

The population of major cities around the world is increasing very fastly. Why is this the case and what measures could be taken to solve this issue.

Education should be free for everyone do you agree or disagree with this statement and to what extent?

Many people believe that the government should allocate more funding to the arts, such as music, painting, and theatre. Others argue that this money should be spent on more essential sectors like healthcare, education, and infrastructure. Discuss both views and give your opinion.