The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

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Grange

Park

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was opened in 1920, a rectangular area with access from Arnold Avenue on the north side and from Eldon Street on the south side. There was a fountain in the centre, with a stage for musicians situated centre left, a glasshouse to the right of the Eldon Street entrance and a pond for

water

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plants in the northeast corner opposite. Around the edges of the

park

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, there were rose gardens, with seats nearby. The

park

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has altered considerably since

then

Linking Words

. Now there is one large rose garden, occupying the central area where the fountain stood, with seats all around it. One of the smaller rose gardens remains on the north side of the

park

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. The bandstand (stage for musicians) has

also

Linking Words

been replaced, by an amphitheatre for concerts and associated seating. The glasshouse has gone and its place is a

water

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feature;

similarly

Linking Words

, where the pond for

water

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plants stood there is now a children’s play area with a café nearby. Access to the

park

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is still via the two original entrances, but there is now a third entrance near the

water

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feature from an underground car

park

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Submitted by maryam.nutrition1988 on Fri Mar 15 2024

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task achievement

To enhance your introduction and conclusion, consider incorporating a brief analysis or summary about the significance of the changes to the park over the years. This could give your essay a more rounded perspective.

coherence cohesion

For a more cohesive structure, transitions between the past and present features could be smoother. Try using phrases that more clearly highlight the transformation aspect, such as 'transitioned from... to...', 'evolved into...', or 'has been replaced with...'.

task achievement

While your essay presents concise information, expanding on the implications or effects of these changes could deepen the response. For instance, mention how the modifications meet the current needs of the community or reflect environmental considerations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

190 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recreational facilities
landscaping
naturalistic
amenities
formal gardens
ergonomic
symmetric designs
inclusive
accessible
accommodations
native plant species
societal changes
visitor services
community events
evolution
modern playgrounds
wildflower meadows

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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people like to try new things, for example, places to visit and types of food. Other people prefer to keep doing things they are familiar with. Discuss both these attitudes and give your opinion.

Topic – Some people believe that educational success depends on good teachers, while others believe that students’ attitude are important. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

The number of out weight children in the developed country is increasing. Some people thing this is due to problems such as the growing number of fast food outlets. Other believe that parents are to blame for not looking after their children health

It is important for people to take risks both in their professional lives and personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweighs disadvantages?