Today's school should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, learning institutions ought to educate their
students
to be able to live financially in the present society. I strongly agree with
this
view. Many primary
schools
today should start to impart knowledge about
Correct article usage
the management
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management
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the management
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of money
such
as budgeting, borrowing, investing and saving that would help
students
to survive in our
ever changing
Add a hyphen
ever-changing
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world. Financial literacy is very important yet is taken for granted
for
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by
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most
schools
.
For instance
, mostly the subjects that are being discussed are mainly sciences, maths, arts and physical education, though these are equally important but there
are
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is
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no guarantee that these will assist them to make a living unless they have
necessary
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the necessary
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knowledge and skills in basic economics
such
as having the good mindset of saving and wise spending will prevent them from unneeded debt, and wrong investment. We live in a competitive world with advanced technology
that
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and
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those who are not financially literate will definitely fall behind in their daily finances
that is
why
schools
should have
curriculum
Add an article
a curriculum
the curriculum
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to train
students
ways to handle money matters. One of the effects of advanced technology is the rapid influx of digital currencies
such
as Bitcoin,
Bitcoin
Correct word choice
and Bitcoin
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Cash. Those who have no understanding and related skill will definitely have a hard time coping with our society's
trend
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trends
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and
this
will cause
despondent
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despondency
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among them. Mostly those will end in debt,
become
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and become
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impulsive
buyer
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buyers
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,
overspender
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overspenders
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,
irrresponsible
Correct your spelling
irresponsible
borrower
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borrowers
show examples
and
investor
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investors
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. In conclusion,
schools
should teach
students
on
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apply
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how to survive financially. It helps them to become
financial
Change the adjective
financially
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literate and able to keep up with the current society's
trend
Fix the agreement mistake
trends
show examples
.
Submitted by jevilla1188 on

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task achievement
Expand your argument with more diverse examples. Relying on general statements improves your coherence, but using specific, real-world examples will significantly increase your task response score.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your ideas, which will enhance both coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, clearly state your position to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the reader's understanding of your viewpoint from the beginning.
task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses all parts of the prompt. You've made a strong argument, but bolstering it with specific examples will make your response even more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial literacy
  • modern economy
  • student debt
  • mitigate
  • practical financial skills
  • budgeting
  • saving
  • investing
  • income inequality
  • psychological benefits
  • financial security
  • traditional education
  • financial independence
  • technology
  • personal finance management
  • global perspective
  • entrepreneurship
  • curriculum
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