The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site

#diagrams #show #site #school #plan #changes

The

two

maps below illustrate the

school

site in 2004 and how developed in 2024.

It is clear that

there

Change the verb form

are

show examples

extensive alternatives including a new building,

car

park and road. In 2004, there were

two

school

buildings

which had 600 students and

two

schools separated by a path.

School

building 1

surrounded

Add a missing verb

is surrounded

show examples

by trees. In the west of the

school

buildings

, there was a sports field.

Also

, there was a

car

park in the northeast of the

school

site which was next to the main entrance. In 2024, the number of students will increase and reach to 1000 students.

Also

school

buildings

1 and 2 will connected together and the path between the

two

buildings

will removed. Sports fields will demolished and a new

school

building will constructed and accessed to

school

buildings

1 and 2 with a path. In the east of the

school

side, the forest will be knocked down and new

car

parking will built which accessed to

car

parking 1 with the road.

Furthermore

, in the south of the

car

parking, 2 trees will chopped and a new sports field will constructed

Submitted by www.marzieh.eidi on Fri Mar 15 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words two, school, car, buildings with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site

Learning about the past has no value for those of us living in the present. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Universities should enrol equal numbers of male and female students in all subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

In many parts of the world there are now more multi-generational households, e.g. where grandparents live with parents and children, than in the past. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The arts, including art, music and theatre are considered to be important in the society. Do you think the arts still have a place amongst our modern lifestyle. Should arts be included in the school curriculum?

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of diverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages.