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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site

The diagrams below show the site of a school in 2004 and the plan for changes to the school site
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The
two
Use synonyms
 maps below illustrate the
school
Use synonyms
 site in 2004 and how developed in 2024.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 extensive alternatives including a new building,
car
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 park and road. In 2004, there were
two
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school
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buildings
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 which had 600 students and
two
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 schools separated by a path.
School
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 building 1
surrounded
Add a missing verb
is surrounded
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 by trees. In the west of the
school
Use synonyms
buildings
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, there was a sports field.
Also
Linking Words
, there was a
car
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 park in the northeast of the
school
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 site which was next to the main entrance. In 2024, the number of students will increase and reach to 1000 students.
Also
Linking Words
,
school
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buildings
Use synonyms
 1 and 2 will connected together and the path between the
two
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buildings
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 will removed. Sports fields will demolished and a new
school
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 building will constructed and accessed to
school
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buildings
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 1 and 2 with a path. In the east of the
school
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 side, the forest will be knocked down and new
car
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 parking will built which accessed to
car
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 parking 1 with the road.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the south of the
car
Use synonyms
 parking, 2 trees will chopped and a new sports field will constructed

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words two, school, car, buildings with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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