IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. *Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.*

4.0 / 9
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Introduction
it is argued that
eviromanental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 is
Correct article usage
a significat
show examples
significat
Correct your spelling
significant
 issue,
otheres
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others
 say it is
resied
Correct your spelling
caused
Use synonyms
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some species of trees and animals die out.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that
while
Linking Words
 eviormanetal
problams
Correct your spelling
problems
 are
accured
Correct your spelling
accrued
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the
show examples
use of
Use synonyms
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
Use synonyms
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
rathe
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rather
show examples
 than
Correct article usage
the disapperaing
show examples
disapperaing
Correct your spelling
disappearing
 of trees and wild animals.
Body paragraph 1
Some
bellive
Correct your spelling
believe
 that climate change has
beed incaresing
Correct your spelling
been increasing because
becasue
Use synonyms
 people are
cuting foreast
Correct your spelling
cutting forests
.
This
Linking Words
 is
Use synonyms
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 the
deforstations
Correct your spelling
deforestations
deforestation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
incaresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 and people are
culativating
Correct your spelling
cultivating
 the land for
agrinculute
Correct your spelling
agriculture
.
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 greenhouse gas carbon dioxide and,
methan
Correct your spelling
methane
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
countinusaly
Correct your spelling
continually
rasing
Correct your spelling
rising
show examples
 which may be
cosue
Correct your spelling
cause
 of die out of
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some
specifice
Correct your spelling
specific
 species of plants and animals are
loosing
Replace the word
losing
show examples
 their
habitate
Correct your spelling
habitat
habitats
.
For example
Linking Words
, in India
forrest
Correct your spelling
forests
 land
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
dicreasing
Correct your spelling
decreasing
 and fewer species which need
Correct article usage
a spaical
show examples
spaical
Correct your spelling
special
spacial
envorement
Correct your spelling
environment
 to grow they are going to
Add an article
an extent
show examples
extent
Replace the word
extend
show examples
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
enviromental problams
Correct your spelling
environmental problems
 are
incaresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 is that
industerial
Correct your spelling
industries
 are using
Use synonyms
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
Use synonyms
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
 to produce
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 products and
usse
Correct your spelling
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 as a main
souce
Correct your spelling
source
 of energy.
this
Linking Words
 is to say, after the
industirial
Correct your spelling
industrial
revoluation
Correct your spelling
revolution
revaluation
Use synonyms
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
Use synonyms
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
 demand
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 growing up, and people are using
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
form
Change the noun form
forms
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as coal ,oil and
gass
Correct your spelling
gas because
becasue
Use synonyms
 they
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for
trasportaion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 and it may be
casue
Correct your spelling
cause
 of
Correct article usage
the emision
show examples
emision
Correct your spelling
emission
emissions
 of greenhouse gas.
for instance
Linking Words
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
 study shows that
Use synonyms
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
Use synonyms
fule
Correct your spelling
fuels
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
Correct article usage
a vitel
show examples
vitel impect
Correct your spelling
vital impact
 on
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
climate change and it is playing
Correct article usage
an essencial
show examples
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
 role
incaresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 of 15 % of
mother earth
Correct your spelling
Mother Earth
show examples
temprature
Correct your spelling
temperature
.
Conclusion
In
concluson
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
Linking Words
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
rasing
Correct your spelling
raising
show examples
Use synonyms
becasue
Correct your spelling
because
 of excessive use of
Use synonyms
fosil
Correct your spelling
fossil
Use synonyms
fule
Correct your spelling
fuel
show examples
 and growing
defosation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
defecation
.
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 that climate change
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
incresing becous
Correct your spelling
increasing because
 of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of factors involved .

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coherence cohesion
Your essay addresses the topic, but there are significant issues with coherence and cohesion. Work on structuring your essay more logically, ensuring that ideas flow smoothly from one to the next. Try using topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs to guide the reader.
task achievement
Focus on clarifying and developing your ideas further. While you have included some relevant examples, your points often seem underdeveloped due to grammatical inaccuracies and unclear expressions. Proofread your work to improve clarity and effectiveness.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical accuracy. Errors in spelling and grammar can significantly impact the clarity of your essay. Consider rereading your work or using tools to check for common mistakes.
task achievement
To improve your score, provide a clearer introduction and conclusion. These should reflect your understanding of the task and summarize your main points clearly. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystems
  • irreplaceability
  • endangered species
  • habitat depletion
  • climate change
  • global warming
  • deforestation
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainability
  • conservation efforts
  • pollution
  • ecological balance
  • resource scarcity
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • impact assessment
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