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Band 3

Education is not a luxury,but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

#education #luxury #right #wealth
The pursuit of knowledge is the most generic thing for mankind in the 21st century.
Therefore
, it must be of no cost regardless of the monetary status of the individuals.I strongly advocate with the view that study should be free for all. To commence with, it will aid poor children to pursue their studies till the time they want to.
For example
, many adolescents tend to leave
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 schools at a young age as their parents cannot afford their expenses.
Furthermore
, learning without any cost can lead students to improve their family conditions by securing a decent
a
Correct article usage
apply
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job.
Lastly
, everybody in the nation will have certain basic human manners which
inturn
Correct your spelling
in turn
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 will help the society in long run.
On the other hand
, some members claim that education is only for those having good income levels. But,it cannot be denied that only a minority of people are interested in
this
 as knowledge
is
Wrong verb form
has been
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 the basic epitome of
community
Add an article
the community
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since
Change preposition
for
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 ages.
For example
, most community members are worried about the future of the nation and are assuming the consequences which can be faced in future
due to
 not acquiring adequate education.
Thus
, the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
show examples
 should treat everyone on the same scale and provide free educational facilities to all.
To conclude
, in my opinion,I believe that
world
Correct article usage
the world
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 will be a better place to live, free from crimes if everybody is educated without spending a single penny
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their
owns
Replace the word
own
show examples
.
Submitted by loginfree246 on

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task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, but it could be strengthened by providing a brief outline of the arguments you will present. This provides a roadmap for the reader and clarifies your stance further.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by giving more detailed situations or factual evidence. This deepens the reader's understanding and makes your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow, but some sentences and ideas feel disjointed. Using transitional phrases can help to smoothly connect paragraphs and ideas, enhancing overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and punctuation. Errors can distract the reader and detract from the clarity of your argument. Consider revising sentences that seem unclear or awkward.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
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