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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of overseas visitors to three different areas in a European country between 1987 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #three #areas #european #country #information #features #comparisons
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The line chart describes information regarding foreign visitors number in
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European areas
such
Linking Words
 as
Use synonyms
Correct article usage
the coast
show examples
coast
Correct article usage
the coast
show examples
,
mountains
Use synonyms
 and
lakes
Use synonyms
 from 1987 to 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is noticeable that the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mountains
Use synonyms
 and
coast
Use synonyms
 guests increased
while
Linking Words
 the
lakes
Use synonyms
 experienced a decline
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
. It is witnessed the
lakes
Use synonyms
 reached
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning and the end of
frame
Add an article
the frame
show examples
 time. Looking in more detail, the sum of people
Correct pronoun usage
who come
show examples
come
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
 to see the
mountains
Use synonyms
 and
coast
Use synonyms
 were nearly 20.000 and 40.000 respectively. In the
mountains
Use synonyms
, there was a gradual increase for ten years. From 1997 to 2002, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of visitors in the
Use synonyms
Fix the agreement mistake
mountain
show examples
mountains
Change the noun form
mountain
show examples
 area remained
Change preposition
at
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 30.000 individuals. After that, it was followed by steady growth until 2007. In the meantime, folks number who visited the
coast
Use synonyms
 steadily declined in 1992 and increased significantly
Change preposition
to almost
show examples
almost
Change preposition
to almost
show examples
 80.000 in 2007. Meanwhile, in the
lakes
Use synonyms
amount
Correct article usage
the amount
show examples
 of foreign visitors stood at 10.000 in 1987 and was followed by a sharp rise during ten years.
Next,
Linking Words
it was
continued
Verb problem
followed
show examples
 by a small fluctuation which
starting
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 a dramatic growth and peaked highest to over 70.000 people.
Next,
Linking Words
there was a sudden drop from 2002 to 2007.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "next, ".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words coast, mountains, lakes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • trend
  • fluctuations
  • steady growth
  • decline
  • popular destination
  • significant changes
  • peak
  • trough
  • speculate
  • geopolitical events
  • attractiveness
  • positive outlook
  • challenges
  • tourism industry
  • overseas visitors
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