Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is argued that constructing the park in the capital can effectively save the
time
spent commuting between the city centre and the gardens. Personally, I disagree with this
opinion.
On the one hand, while
parks are established in the centre, the time
it takes employees to commute between home and work can be reduced to a great extent. Whenever individuals want to enjoy the natural environment, they are able to easily arrive in gardens without spending time
on transport. Besides
, if inhabitants take advantage of vehicles and transportation, the city could effectively reduce its carbon footprint and improve the quality of the air, offering dwellers a livable environment for living.
On the other hand
, although
travelling to the spot costs plenty of time
, individuals can create unforgettable memories as well as
experiences. For instance
, only if travelling to the local area can they interact with local inhabitants, understand the culture, and taste authentic cuisines. In addition
, I am convinced that travelling can not only take a rest but also
change one’s emotions. In this
fast-paced generation, especially in Asia, people spare no effort on work due to
the hustle culture. If individuals can have an opportunity to relax, it could enhance their working efficiency and keep workers away from burning out. Consequently
, I subscribe to the belief that people should spend time
travelling to other places.
In conclusion, although
it takes time
to commute between the spot and the city centre, I believe travelling contributes to several advantages for human beings.Submitted by sherry0588 on
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task achievement
Ensure to directly address the prompt by discussing both views and clearly stating your opinion in the introduction. The introduction lacked a clear statement covering both sides of the argument.
coherence cohesion
Develop your paragraphs with clear topic sentences that reflect the main argument of each paragraph. This helps in guiding the reader through your discussion points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Increase the use of cohesive devices (e.g., transition words, referencing) to link ideas and paragraphs together. While some cohesive devices were used, greater variety and accuracy could enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific, relevant examples. Adding more detailed examples can strengthen your arguments and provide clearer insights into your reasoning.
task achievement
Ensure your conclusion summarises the main points discussed and reiterates your opinion clearly. The conclusion should feel like a natural end to your argument, leaving the reader with a clear understanding of your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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